The Gaze of a King

Chapter Twenty- Four | Final Farewell

My royal garments are in tatters. Grey ash adorns my forehead instead of a crown. Behind me is a cacophony of women's wails and musical instruments mangled together in a dissonant chord. The sun above me is beginning to fade. The horizon is tinged with a red streak. Numbly I walk forward, dread creeping up my spine as I reach the final resting place of my son.

A stream of tears coats my cheeks as I catch a glimpse of the tiny bundle laid within the open earth. My baby's lifeless body is cocooned in white. The King stands before me, his back to me. The waning sun's rays catch on the tips of his red curls, illuminating them. My heart hardens as I glare into his back. The unshakeable pain inside my heart is all his doing. He did this to me. A lump forms in my throat as a sob breaks free. I fall to my knees and lifting my head to the sky I release an anguished cry. 

My lungs begin to burn and I hang my head in exhaustion. I have overexerted myself. The intense cramping in my stomach sharpens. I grip a hand over the tiny bulge that still remains. This and the heavy flow of blood are a constant reminder of what I have endured and what I have lost. They are like an empty promise. When my sobs finally die out David holds up a hand, silencing the mourners and musicians behind us.

"My heart is severely pained within me,
And the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
Fearfulness and trembling have come upon me,
and horror has overwhelmed me."

His voice is a raw rasp, the endless sobs of anger and loss wearing away at it the last few days. Two guards approach solemnly to the mound of dirt piled next to the hole. With shovels in their hands, I watch numbly as the brown earth gradually swallows my child into its wretched grasp.