I fidgeted with the silver and gold rings on my left hand. Then, nibbled on the inside of my puckered lip while I waited for King David's answer.
"You were not receiving visitors- not even your family were permitted to see you- I did not think you would heed Nathan's summons."
"What did he say, My Lord?" My patience was wearing thin. The eagerness tinging my words with a tone of irritation.
King David backed away from me methodically, turning towards his bed. Once seated on the edge he patted the space next to him, beckoning me. How did he know I could not stand for too long? If I did the pangs in my lower stomach would return and I would be forced to lie down until they passed. I nodded my head warily, but relieved inside. That numb ache had begun to creep its way between my legs, a warning sign that I needed to sit down or worse would follow. I lowered myself onto the bed next to his side. He offered me a sympathetic smile.
"I have been reminded of who I used to be... I am trying to return to that man again. I have sinned greatly against God, Bathsheba, but more than that I have sinned against you. I know it is impossible for you to forgive me, but I will strive every day to make it up to you."
His face fell and he grimaced, as if he was relieving his shameful actions. After a sharp inhale he continued,"The prophet said God will bless us with another son. I vow to you today, Bathsheba- I will make this son you bare my heir to the throne."
My mouth fell slightly open. I could not bear the pain of losing another child. It almost destroyed me once. As if he had read my thoughts, he quickly added, "God has promised him my throne. He will live, Bathsheba."
I struggled to form a coherent thought. My words tumbled over my tongue sporadically.
"I am not yet healed," I finally managed to blurt out.
He shushed me, in an effort to silence my protests.
"When you are healed, you will summon me. Then, and only then will I come to you. You have my word. I was wrong for how I treated you, Bathsheba. I will never summon you to my bed again. It will be by your word and will only."
"And Zev," I asked.
He nodded his head. Brilliant stray curls fell into his eyes.
"I can only promise he will leave my kingdom alive. Whatever happens from there is out of my hands."
I mused over his words. I had a choice to make in this moment. Would I heed the words of God and open myself up to the possibility of being hurt again? Could I sacrifice in order to save a friend from certain death? Would having another baby fill the void that losing my firstborn left inside of me? There was so much uncertainty and fear gnawing my insides. Could beauty be made from the ashes? Could I trust God enough to give him the chance to show me the answer? An answer welled up from the inside of me out of the midst of confusion and doubt.
"Disobeying God is what brought us to this place, My Lord. If only I had had the courage to resist you... That is my sin to bear. It would have been better for me to die with honor, than live with this shame. I will obey the Lord, Sire. But only for my own selfish benefit- not yours. And for Zev."
The brief taste of motherhood I was granted had awakened the desire within me to have more children. This child that God promised would be the consolation for everything I had endured, all the pain and loss- if it truly came to pass. I would sacrifice sharing my body with him just one more time. It was a price I had to pay to receive my heart's new desire. I got up from the bed, making my way to exit his chambers. I had nothing left to say to King David.
YOU ARE READING
The Gaze of a King
Ficción histórica*Sacred Crowns- Book 2* Her whole life she had been called beautiful. Glances and envious eyes were always cast her way. But never had Bathsheba expected to catch the eye of her King. And never in her wildest imaginings did she anticipate the trage...
