Dear Michael | clifford

Epilogue

Michael looked at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes were bloodshot, he hadn't slept for days. His skin looked paler than before, he also got skinnier, he always had this lump in his throat which wouldn't disappear. Everytime he tried to eat, he just threw everything up again, so he decided not to eat anything at all.

If he'd kept doing what he did right now, he would soon follow Mia's way up to heaven.

Michael took one last glance at his black suit, checking if he looked presentable enough.

Today was the day, it was Mia's funeral. All night he had been laying awake in his bed - which was way too big for only one person - what to say to her mother and her sister when he sees them.

Should he hug them?

Should he just say hello?

Would they blame him for Mia's suicide?

His heart ached at those words. Suicide. Michael would never be used to this word, he still couldn't believe that the love of his life was gone and nothing could ever bring her back.

He felt a tear slip out of his eye; quickly he dried her with his sweaty palm. He took one last breath, then took the keys from the table and made his way out to his car. He climbed inside, putting the key into the ignition, starting the car.

As he arrived at the cemetery, he felt like he couldn't breathe anymore. This was it. He had to say goodbye to her for good, and hell no, he wasn't ready. He'd never be.

He looked at the sky, which was grey and cloudy, fitting his mood perfectly. Slowly he got out of his car and locked it behind him. With shaking legs he made his way to the pile of people on the cemetery, who were all dressed in black. He looked for a familiar face in the crowd and soon he saw her little sister, Dakota, she looked terrible. She clutched onto her mom's hand and her eyes were closed. Michael knew that she was crying and he felt even worse. If he had been at Mia's a few minutes earlier, he could have saved her. It was all his fault that she was gone, he fucked up. Again.

He didn't realize that he was crying until someone patted him on the shoulder, turning him around. Mia's mom was standing there, her eyes were also bloodshot but she smiled. "Michael", she whispered and pulled him into a tight embrace.

That was when Michael lost it completely, he sobbed into Mrs. McCall's shoulder, he just couldn't take it anymore. First he thought that he cried all his tears out in the last few days but obviously he didn't. "Ssh, ssh, Michael. It's okay. You're okay." Mrs. McCall soothed and rubbed small circles on Michael's back, just like Mia always did.

"No, i-it's n-not." He sniffled into the crook of her neck. "None of this is your fault, Michael. No one could have saved her. Please do not blame it on you, because this is nobody's fault. I know she loved you with all her heart but earth wasn't her place to be", Mrs. McCall whispered with a shaky voice but she meant every single word. Mia was gone but it was no one's fault, nobody could have saved her.

Michael nodded and slowly let her go. "Can you please do me a favor?" Mrs. McCall pleaded, looking at Michael with teary eyes. He slowly nodded, "yeah sure."

"Mia told me once that you liked to sing, she once heard you while you were taking a shower but she didn't say anything because she didn't want to sound like a creep but she told me that you had a voice like an angel and I want you to sing for her, one last time. I know this was unexpected but please could you do that for m- for her? I know she'll love it."

Michael stood there, his mouth hung wide open. He had never sung in front of this many people before, especially not at an occasion like this but he knew that he couldn't deny Mrs. McCall's wish. He nodded and then Michael remembered that one song, he wanted to play.

-

"Hello, my name is Michael and I, uhm, I was Mia's boyfriend and, uh, I want to sing something for her", Michael stuttered as everyone looked at him with sad eyes. How was he going to sing this whole sing without breaking down? Mia's brown casket was right in front of him, he just decided to close his eyes so he wouldn't have to face it all the time.

Since he didn't have a guitar or anything like that with him, he just started to sing acapella.

All I want is nothing more

to hear you knocking at my door

'cause if i could see your face once more

I could die as a happy man I'm sure

When you said your last goodbye

I died a little bit inside

I lay in tears in bed all night

alone without you by my side

But If you loved me

why did you leave me

take my body

take my body

He gulped, taking a deep breath. His eyes were still closed as he continued to sing the song he had heard on the radio, on his last drive to Mia.

cause you brought out the best of me

a part of me I'd never seen

you took my soul wiped it clean

our love was made for movie screens

But If you loved m-

This was too much for Michael, he couldn't take it anymore. He broke down in front of everyone, crying his eyes out. He curled himself up into a ball and punched the hard floor with his fist. His heart was aching for Mia's touch, for her voice, for her smile he was so unhappy without her and he knew that he wouldn't make it without her anymore.

-

2 weeks later there was report in the newspaper about a 19-year-old guy who jumped in front of a train, due to the suicide of his beloved girlfriend.

May they both rest in peace.

-

WHAT HAVE I DONE

I'M CRYING SO HARD OMG

but this is it

dear michael is over and idk if you enjoyed it or not but i definitely did!!

this is like the first fanfiction i've ever finished so pls be proud of me

and i want to apologize for any mistakes because

1. i didn't proof read

2. english is not my native language so bear with me pls

if you have any questions pls message me or ask here!!

love you lots

soph xx