Our Words Are Stars

1. Just too much.

I'm so sure that at least one time in your life you have felt... just too much. 

It could be anger, like when you know you have the right to be mad for some any reason, but on the other hand, you just can't get enough of it. Like when you feel like every fiber of your body needs to discharge electricity kept inside of you and you just don't know how to do it.

Or maybe it could be sadness, the kind that makes you feel like sinking deeper down the sea every passing second; that makes you feel like a Dementor is over your head (with this, as nerdy as it sounds, reflects the idea of any happiness just going away from your life). A large, dark void.

And of course, I'm also talking about feeling too much love for someone. You even ask yourself: "isn't it mad to feel that much for one person?". Even when bad things happen, and the situation could be very much one you already experienced and you promised not to fell into that again, and yet...

Or maybe I'm just wrong and not everybody feels the same way I sometimes feel. Maybe I'm the one who has some kind of flaw; maybe the rest of the world are green, spring leaves, or wet ones after a summer rain... while I'm an autumn leaf (which is not bad, that I have to add) full of vibrant and beautiful colors, but so easy to catch on fire with unexpected feelings to appear.

Yeah, maybe that is my problem.

I feel too much.

And, to be honest, a part of me wants it to stop.

But, not really. I guess that's part of me.

*****

Taylor knew too well that to book a plane on December 25th.

That is the reason she is in the airport today, her plane ticket in her hand, ready to go to London. And if you actually pay attention at her, you could see she also has a small letter next to the ticket. Taylor is holding it like if it was the only thing keeping her steady on earth.

Though she knows it's not like that. Why? First of all, because she is going to take flight in less than twenty minutes. And secondly, she also knows she was never totally okay there, so why would she choose to stay with her feet on the ground.

Actually that piece of paper weights more like a rock. A heavy one that hasn't allowed her to move on in the last few months.

That's why she decided, more for her to believe it, to take that plane (that it just announced the last call to board) and fly to her destiny, to London.

Minutes ago, while she was checked in the metal detector and so, she thought something funny: there, they check if you are not carrying liquids, toxics, animals, drugs, weapons... but they never check if you happen to have a feeling so heavy and dangerous to keep inside of you, that could easily make the plane crashed down.

Before taking a last glimpse to the letter and its last words (FRANZ... I WILL WAIT FOR YOU, THAT I SWEAR..."), Taylor gets inside the closest bathroom and luckily she found an open window and throws the letter to the wild and cold winter wind outside.

Now she is ready to take the plane, without the fear of too much heaviness with her.

The girl hands over her ticket to the flight attendant, Taylor swore she heard Franz's voice. She turned, obviously, and saw only a lot of people running and lining up to get into their planes. Of course that couldn't have been Franz.

Franz made it clear: what they both had, was never supposed to occur. And even if she waited for him months and years... he would never come. That was almost for sure.

A sharp chest pain made her feel like she couldn't breathe. The flight attendant look at her with a strange face, almost worried. Taylor took her ticket and passport back from her, thanked the woman and started walking through the tunnel. You are about to go to the place you have always dreamed to visit. Now you can forget all the rest, the past, she told herself. Just keep walking and let time goes by.