One-Shots & Headcanons [discontinued]

CONSPIRACY THEORIES

Yup. I totally just clickbaited you.

jk

Alright. Conspiracy Theory on Nagini-

-This will be the first of many things J.K. Rowling will add to the Harry Potter series in an effort to make it seem to be more diverse. Honestly, next she's gonna say Hagrid is transgender, Ron crossdresses, Dumbledore was gay- wait what?

Nevermind.

But okay, imagine someone asking the marauders why they had those certain nicknames [Wormtail, Moony, Prongs, Padfoot;

And this is the answer:

"Peter's called Wormtail because once he tried to transfigure a worm, and he gave it a tail. Remus' called Moony 'cuz he likes to moon people if ya' get what I mean. James got his name because he likes to collect the skulls of stags in his spare time-" Sirius was suddenly cut off by Remus.

"And he's like the devil, without the prongs of evil on his trident thing. Wish he was born with horns, would've made it easier for us to realise we should avoid him," James yelped -"What the hell dude!"- loudly.

"As I was saying," Sirius recovered smoothly, "I'm Padfoot, because when I first found, ahem, certain feminine products, I didn't know what they were used for. So I used to keep them in my shoes."

Peter sent a judging look at Sirius, "Really?"

"What?!" Sirius squawked indignantly. "They really were fluffy and comfortable! And they really did absorb my foot sweat!"

"But why?" Peter sputtered.

Remus wiped tears out of his eyes, as he clutched his aching stomach- assessing the damage from laughing for so long, "And why weren't we informed of this sooner?"

"It was easier than all the charms I had to use!" Sirius huffed, and crossed his arms across his chest.

James jumped in, imitating Sirius almost perfectly, "I'll have you know that Black's have naturally sweaty feet."

The others looked at him for a moment, before bursting into laughter.