falsettos bullshit ass texting shit

falsettos characters as things my friends have said

ik this isnt texting but still

Whizzer: I told her she looks like shes sucking dick and she got mad at me

Marvin: some days I'm like wow I'm a little bitch, other days I'm like wow im still a little bitch

Whizzer: I don't have enough money for food but I have enough money for cocaine

Jason: *burps* thank you for coming to my ted talk

Cordelia: why is the brush not working? (charlotte) because it's a comb and you're doing it backwards

Mendel: *talking about a patient* her name is marry jane and she eats dog food

Jason: what's love backwards? (whizzer) evil

Whizzer: wow you're popping pills its only eleven

Marvin: stop having a seizure god its halloween lighten up

Trina: call marvin (whizzer) okay, siri call debra

Whizzer: if chef boyardee asked to eat my ass I wouldn't say no

Whizzer: its not making money off dumb people it's making money off horny people

Jason: did you just call me a cock tease cause I rick rolled you?

Charlotte: I bet you googled nicholas cages feet before

Trina: dont you hate it when you're trying to make a pb&j and you slit your wrists and die

Charlotte: death smiles at us and all we can do is smile back

Mendel: hold my hand and we can do marriage

Charlotte: look at us sitting around letting america happen

Whizzer: I can chug really good so I'll be fun at parties