delete | ambrollins

nineteen

lover: I'm calling you

loser: what.
message read at 3:01 am ✔

seth

To say that getting this call is shocking, would be an understatement.

for one, its 3 am.

for two, he's calling me.

for three, reread number two.

I dont hesitate to answer, I slide to accept and immediately push it against my ear.

"Well hello night owl, tell me how I can be of assistance." I joke and my mood immediately darkens when I hear the whimpers coming from him.

"Are, are you okay?"

Its at this moment I realize, I never got his name.

Its also this moment I know it would be inappropriate to ask him for it.

"I- I don't. I don't k-k-know what t-to... Seth i c-can't-" the stutters are cut off with a another cry and I can feel heart wrench.

"Hey, hey, calm down. Okay? Deep breaths love."

I internally of course, cringe at this word I chose. But what else could I say?

"I'm panicking Seth. I-I-I don't k-know why. Oh my f-fucking God, I can't b-breathe."

"Hey! Hey, you'll be okay. Inhale and exhale, you've been doing it since birth. Think happy things okay?"

his breathing is still shallow as he tries to speak while crying his heart out.

and fuck how my heart breaks at that.

I find myself mumbling words that I can only hope are soothing, trying to calm him to the best of my abilities.

"You okay there?"

"S-Sort of."

"You stutter a lot."

My eyes go wide at the words that leace my mouth, oh fuck I'm so stupid. As I search for words to apologize he chuckles.

"Yeah I do. I'm pretty uh, good at hiding it when I'm not having a fucking heart attack." Theres a laugh that escapes nothing of us which easily lights up my mood, and I can only help it does him too.

"I like your voice." I breathe out, and I really mean it. It's a rasp that sounds like guys in the movies, then again it rolls off his tongue and its so smooth I can only wonder what else it can sound like.

"Hey. Um... T-Thanks."

"Is that another panic attack coming in love?" I joke and with this he laughs, "Fuck off."

There's a silence that's not awkward but instead comfortable, like we know we don't have to talk.

"Really, thank you."

"No problem baby, get some sleep yeah?"

"Its not even late."

"Well its 3 am here and I think we should be asleep."

"oh shit I didn't even think about how late it was, I'm sorry seth."

"No problem. What time is it over there dumbass?"

There's a small screw you and I laugh, its too damn early and I know damn well if anyone else did this I'd murder their ass but with him it was okay

"Its 4 am here in Cincinnati."

"Why the hell are you awake?" I question and and he mutters "it's not early." "My ass it isnt, I just went to sleep an hour. Go to bed."

"You're not the boss."

"And you're not a damn owl, go to sleep."

"Who-Who bitch. No."

"Sleep!" he's probably rolling his eyes right now, as am I. "Fine."

"Fine."

There's another silence until he hums "Thank you."

"No problem baby. Goodnight."

He hangs up.