trigger warning
i knew the day would come. the day when it all went wrong. the day when the only thing i'd have left was pictures of his and the memories we'd made. i just didn't know it'd come so soon.
i stood, in front of the full length mirror in my bedroom, nervously fidgeting with the hem of my black knee length dress. my hair was straightened down my back, the way he said he always liked it, and my makeup was kept to a minimum.
i drove to the church, where i joined george, blake, and all of reece's family, in front of the doors. i'd hoped that one day, i'd be stood here on reece and i's wedding day, not his funeral, but i guess sometimes the end is closer than our desires.
it was a solemn service. of course it was. i sat between george and blake, all of us hanging our heads, as we silently mourned the death of our closest companion. he was the reason i'd met the two of them in the first place, and the reason we were sat there that day. they both gave eulogies in his memory and it was nearly my turn to give mine.
"and now, a word from miss y/l/n, reece's partner," the priest said, his voice monotone and boring. this is not the funeral that reece would've wanted.
i stood from my seat in the second pew, slipped past george on the end of the row, and made my way to the altar, my black ballet pumps tapping lightly against the cold floor.
i stood and faced everyone, with a quick nod to jamie, lindsey, and lexi, sat in the front row.
"hi," i began, my voice shaking slightly, "my name is y/n. i was reece's girlfriend. we fell in love young and it felt like it'd last forever, but all good things must come to an end. i'm not here to talk about our love story. i'm here to talk about the incredible young man that we unfortunately lost just six days ago.
"he was smart, funny, and talented as heck. but it was the little things he did that made him, him. the way he'd always twiddle with his rings when he was nervous, or the way he'd chew on his lip when he was concentrating. the way his hair twisted and turned into perfect curls, and the way his green eyes had a hint of infinity. he wasn't like all the other boys.
"i think it's safe to say that we've all admired him for something. lexi, i know he always helped you with your homework, and while he wasn't the best at geography, his knowledge and confidence in specific areas never failed to amaze you, i could tell by your eyes. lindsey, i know how proud you became of your boy. the amazing husband and father he'd make one day, how he cared and loved us all unconditionally. jamie, we all know just how close you were with your son. he always found his way back home, back to you, no matter how lost he seemed.
"i would like you to think back to a time when reece truly amazed you with something he did. whether it was a favour or one of his own achievements. think about the joy that made you feel, the way the happiness lifted you heart. now think back to the infinity in his eyes. make that your lasting memory of him. make happiness the first thing you associate with his name. because that's what he was to all of us. an infinity of happiness."
i stepped down from the altar, stirred up by my own words. a round of applause was awarded to me, and i smiled, before taking my seat between the boys once again.
"he'd be so proud of you, you know," blake whispered to me once i was comfortable, "even more proud than he already was. he loved you like crazy, and he'd have loved you even more for that phrase."
~
when we left the church, i didn't know what to do with myself. funerals are such confusing places. why are we celebrating his death?
i walked to my car quickly, not wanting to stick around. the longer i stay here, the more likely i am to cry my eyes out, and i don't want that to happen any more than it has.
my journey was interrupted by george speed walking to catch up with me, his freshly pressed suit a little damp where i'd cried onto his shoulder.
"y/n. please. reece told me, when he realised how much you meant to him, that there was something he wanted me to say in case anything like this ever happened to him," he choked on his tears, sniffling slightly, "he said to make sure that you carried on with your life, that him dying didn't stop you. he wanted you to carry on like no one was watching, though he always will be. he promised to haunt you forever, to watch over and protect you. he loved you, y/n, and he always will."
"he's my guardian angel," i whispered, "my saviour. the hardest heartbreak i'll ever experience. but i'll always love him.
dead or not."
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wHew i'm crying
based on the fault in our stars, kinda 🙃
enjoy, soz if i made you cry :)
xx
