your p.o.v
tonight was going to be tough, but i know what i have to do. we'll struggle more if we don't do this, and i don't want to hurt him. he doesn't deserve it.
reece is on his way over to mine. he's just coming over to hang out, but we both knew that this moment would come. we both knew that we couldn't last much longer.
i'll give you some background before he gets here.
reece bibby and i threw ourselves into an intense relationship. we met almost a year ago and have been together for about eleven months. seems rushed, huh?
but it didn't for us. we felt like we had all the time in the world. our passion for each other drove us together and onward into our future, but i think we've both known the whole time that we wouldn't last that long. we made every day we were together special, building memories and false hope for a future with him.
tonight will be our last night together. he leaves for tour tomorrow, and the day after, i leave for a new home halfway across the world with my parents for their work. i know we can't do distance. my love for him might be strong, but i fear our relationship isn't.
i heard three knocks on the front door and headed down to answer. i wiped my tears and pulled open the door.
"bibby," i whispered, hugging him close. the hug was tight and lasting - maybe he knew the inevitable would happen tonight.
i lead him through to the living room where we sat on the sofa in an awkward silence for a few minutes. i kept my head down and fiddled with my fingers, while he leaned back into the plush material, staring into space.
"reece," i suddenly mumbled, making him jump a little, "i think you feel the way i do. i think you know what we have to do before tomorrow."
he said nothing, only closed his eyes and hid his lips, sitting up straight.
"i don't want to do it," i continued, "but i think it's best if we just... stopped."
"y/n, please," he said, interrupting the rambling i didn't realise i was doing, "don't say it."
"if i don't say it then we won't believe it. we have to end this now, before something happens and we hurt each other even more,"
"i know we do, y/n."
another silence.
"please, reece. i hope one day i can wave at you from across the street, and it won't be awkward. i hope one day we can be friends, and it'll be simple, no strings attached. we've done things that we never should've done to each other. we fought like hell, and we were both left hurting. and when we tried to mend it, things just got worse and worse until we both knew, deep down, that we were on the ropes. and i don't want to do something that hurts. i want you, not some toxic relationship, where a future together is only a fantasy.
"i told you when we met that i would have to leave soon, and you said it was fine. but i've always known in the back of my mind that we wouldn't be strong enough to get through it. our love was laid on thick, and it was slowly suffocating both of us," by this point i was sobbing like crazy, and we had both risen to our feet.
"so what're you saying? that you want to throw all of this away? i get where you're coming from, and i know it'll hurt more later, but can we not just have one more night together. a night where we forget everything and we just live. we live for each other. we live for the things that we could never repair. we live for a relationship we'll never get back," he lowered his tone on the last sentence and stepped closer to me, sending shivers down my spine, "let's love like there's no goodbyes."
he kissed me softly, teasing his lips against mine as his hand ghosted over my hips.
we ran up to my room, tears still falling down my cheeks. but i'd do as he said. i'd forget everything, for one more night, and just be with him.
i switched off the lights: i didn't want to have to see the truth. i wanted my body to tell him everything i couldn't, whether that be from when i first met him, or from five minutes ago in my living room. i'm aware it's too late but i don't care.
he was being delicate with me, treating me like i would snap if he pushed too hard. he didn't roughly pin me against the wall and silence me with kisses like he normally would - instead he grabbed my waist and kissed me passionately, his emotions pouring into every little crack of my being. i opened my mouth and he slipped his tongue in, roaming my mouth with a gentle dominance that made me hungry for more. my hand played with his soft curls, the dirty blonde mess surging relaxing yet exciting energy all the way from my finger tips to the tips of my toes. he knew what he was doing to me, and he knew that we wouldn't be able to erase tonight.
the kiss was salty and getting rougher by the minute, his hands roaming my body and stopping at the hem of my t-shirt. i tugged it off, before pulling his off with it. i allowed my digits to trace his toned abs and his deep collarbones, peppering kisses over every inch of his torso.
he lifted me and laid me on my bed, hovering over me and grinding his hips into mine. i groaned at the contact and begged for more, reaching down to remove his trousers. he kicked them off his ankles before moving down my body to plant sloppy, open-mouthed kisses on my neck and chest.
he reached around my back and removed my bra, leaving hickeys on the hills of my chest. i arched my back, forcing contact between our bodies and he pushed me back down. this was his territory now.
~
we fell asleep beside each other in my bed pretty much straight after our episode. his arms were wrapped around me and my head was on his chest as we kissed and kissed and kissed - our goodbyes could never be said with words.
he'd muttered an 'i love you' before we dropped off, and no doubt had a list of similar language been used when we were having sex. i'd love him forever and ever, just not physically. i knew leaving him would leave an ache that nothing could heal, but tonight that didn't matter. tonight, all that mattered was me and him in that moment. not last week, not next week. now.
~~
i woke to an empty bed and a cream envelope on the bed next to me. my name was written in blue ink and i hurried to open it.
i love you, y/n. more than you'll ever know. and i know last night was hard but we can't keep going. the train of our love has been hurtling down the track for the past year, and now it's time for us to get off. our stop awaits.
i wish you all the best moving forward. forget about me. fall in love again, but this time, make it last. you're an amazing girl who deserves a future that wouldn't be toxic. but please, do not forget the burning love we had, the passion in our hearts that could start a forest fire.
no more pretending that everything is okay. while it hurt, this was the right thing.
all my love, forever and always,
reece bibby.
———————
i'm cryinggggg woah.
i hope you liked this, it was based on the beautiful song 'no goodbyes' by dua lipa. i was listening to it the other day and the concept hit me and i had to write it. i actually quite like how this ended up!!
enjoy!!
xx
