i don't want to ruin the story with trigger warnings, but i'll put them in bold italics if you want to read them. skip them if you don't want spoilers and your think you'll be okay💞
trigger warning ~ verbal and physical abuse
your p.o.v
reece bibby and i had the kind of love that seemed endless. to us, to friends, to family, to strangers, to fans. it seemed like we truly would last forever and ever. i truly had fallen for the lanky boy who would casually grab me by the waist and kiss me when i walked past, and who's blonde hair felt like silk as it cascaded between my fingers. his hands squeezing my hips as he pulled me close, and the lasting tingle that played on my lips after every time he'd kiss me. i was under some sort of spell, a wish if you will, getting lost in the emerald wonder of his eyes every time he uttered the words 'i love you'.
i had gained a tight friendship with blake and george, too. it was never a case of reece leaving me at home while he went out with the boys, it was more a case of us assuming i was invited since i got along with them so well. they were like brothers to me, as well as being such close and treasured friends of reece.
i'd come with them on tour, the management team welcoming me with open arms when reece has suggested that i came along. america was always my favourite place to visit with him. seeing all the different states, the different cultures that seemed so tightly packed together, when in actual fact, they're far away. i love travel in general, reece's soft hand slipping into mine as we gazed at the sunset over the wing of the plane. they'd had to change flight path to keep me with them, so we changed planes at new york city, tiredness filling our heads and showing in our eyes and our yawns. but they never made me feel bad about it, not once. they always had my back.
we sat on the tour bus as a group, laughing at jokes and competing at fifa and call of duty on the xbox that the boys had onboard. reece would often pull me against his chest and kiss my head, before i got bored and span to face him, pressing my forehead against his and cushioning his lips with mine. he wrapped his arms around my waist, the love for the boy burning in my insides, as he pulled me closer and we made out on the couch. of course, the boys got uncomfortable and just left us to it, but they would never make us stop. we were simply too in love.
in england, we lived in my apartment. it was modern and pretty roomy, definitely enough for two people. he lifted me onto the kitchen counter, standing between my legs as we kissed and kissed, his tongue and mine fighting for dominance, our lips getting lazy and sloppy. he'd always chirpily watch me cook, one of his shirts falling past my knees and my hair tied up in a messy bun on those mornings where we'd wake up with the world at our feet.
i'd cuddle against his chest at night, crying onto his shoulder if i ever needed to. he'd run his fingers through my hair and sympathetically rub my back, our hands grasping for the other's and relief threading into the sadness as our fingers finally intertwined.
i loved the feeling of our intimacy. breathy kisses lingering on necks as he traces his fingers down the nape of my neck, clasping the zip on my dress and slowly dragging it down. it all just felt so right.
until it didn't.
the issues started off slowly. he'd seem more distant, and we'd argue more. i thought it was just what happened to couples the longer they were together, but when the problems got more severe i realised that i really had been under his spell.
one night, we'd fought pretty bad. he'd lashed out with insults, his hot tongue spitting insults upon my smooth skin, scalding and leaving a burn. i'd fought back the urge to cry and hit him. i loved him, and i didn't want him to go through anything bad. he felt the same for me, and had just had a few tough days at the studio, making his temper sharp. no biggie.
we'd shared kisses and loving on the sofa that very night.
i'd met blake and george the next day and they said i seemed off, but i brushed it away as being stressed from work.
two weeks later it happened again, but this time things got physical. we hadn't shared kisses and made love on the sofa afterwards. instead he'd slammed the door in my face and forced me to sleep on the sofa.
when i met blake and george that time, the blue eyed boy had said i looked tired. i told him i had an essay due in that i'd stayed up late to finish.
one week later, the fists lashed out. he'd slapped me and punched me, a prominent bruise forming on my lower jaw.
blake asked me how i'd managed to get a bruise on my face. i told him i had been clumsy and hit myself in the face with a door.
day after day, night after night, but not once did i fight back. the next day reece would always apologise and treat me with showers of kisses and gifts to make up for his wrong doings, but nothing could erase the scars and the battering i had taken. i was struggling, and it was easy to see.
after months, i knew we were nearing the end. i was lying next to reece in bed, 3am fast approaching, the white moonlight teasing at the curtains. it shone over my side of the bed, wrestling me and keeping me awake. reece wasn't asleep either. we were sat up in our bed, talking about stuff. i was straight to the point and uptight, having fallen down a toxic hole that i'd been tricked into thinking was 'love'. i asked reece if he loved me. my head was screaming the answer at me, and i hoped he'd lie to me and tell me yes, before scooping me into his arms and kissing all the pain away. but he just simply didn't reply, and that was the breaking point. it all came crashing down with that moment of realisation.
he doesn't love me, and probably never has.
so now, a day later, i'm sat in a bar with the boys, watching as reece flirts with various girls, his entrancing green eyes only looking at me once. at the time, i'd been laughing at a joke that the barman has told me, but it doesn't take a genius to notice how unhappy i was.
it was like he was brand new overnight, ready to pretend nothing happened. i watched as he lead one of the girls to the rooms upstairs, a tear escaping my eye and a sob threatening to choke me.
he'll grab her by the waist and kiss her as she walks past, his blonde hair feeling like silk as it cascades between her fingers. his hands will squeeze her waist as he pulls her close, a lasting tingle on her lips every time he kisses her. she'll get lost in the emerald wonder of his eyes as he utters the words 'i love you'.
they'll live in her apartment. it will be modern and pretty roomy, definitely enough for two people. he'll lift her onto the kitchen counter, standing between her legs as they kiss and kiss, his tongue and hers fighting for dominance, their lips getting lazy and sloppy. he'll always chirpily watch her cook, one of his shirts falling past her knees and her hair tied up in a messy bun on those mornings where they'll wake up with the world at their feet.
she'll cuddle against his chest at night, crying onto his shoulder if she ever needs to. he'll run his fingers through her hair and sympathetically rub her back, their hands grasping for the other's and relief threading into the sadness as their fingers finally intertwined.
she'll love the feeling of their intimacy. breathy kisses lingering on necks as he traces his fingers down the nape of her neck, clasping the zip on my dress and slowly dragging it down. it will all just feel so right, until he lies to her about his love and she realises the monster that he truly is.
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whoof that was sad :((
this song means so much to me and the music video has such a beautiful message, if you haven't seen the video or heard the song then i've linked it above, i really recommend it!!
creds to jess for helping me develop the idea into exactly what i wanted it to be 💞
enjoy <3
x
