"Why not?" She asked. He wouldn't cheat on Robyn. Another reason pestered him—lots of other reasons. "I gotta take care of something first." "All right." She programmed her name and phone number into his cell phone. "Call me when you want me." She blew him a kiss and left. Oh, he wanted her. For a second, he entertained the temptation to take her to the nearest dark corner and show her exactly how much he wanted her, but when he closed his eyes, it was Robyn's face he saw, Robyn's body he touched. Chris stuck his phone in his pocket and walked out of the bar. Damn it. What is wrong with me? Robyn was the most fascinating girl he'd ever met. He couldn't stop thinking about her, couldn't stop wanting her, but as soon as a beautiful stranger in a bar kissed him, he nearly threw away everything he had with Robyn for a night of meaningless sex. Maybe his father was right. Maybe Chris would never be happy with just one woman. He would get bored eventually—he always did. He would end up hurting Robyn. What had happened in the bar tonight proved it. He cared about Robyn—he really did—but he cared about her too much to see her get hurt. Don't hurt a woman you love.... The words his mother had said to him, on that terrible night when his father left, echoed in his head. Only ten years old, and he'd decided that he'd never fall in love. The one time he had, he'd barely survived. Love caused too much pain. He stood at the street corner and waited for the light to change, knowing Robyn's apartment building stood three blocks away. He took a determined right turn. Only one thing I can do. It was going to kill him, but he had to do it. He knocked on the door, hoping to God Melissa wasn't home. When Robyn opened the door and yawned, he realized he'd woken her up. "Sorry. I didn't know how late it was." "Chris." Robyn blinked and rubbed her eyes. "Come in." He stepped inside but didn't sit down. He wouldn't be staying long. "How was dinner?" "Fine." He didn't want to re-live that. "Robyn, I—" She wore a long baggy t-shirt and nothing else, but damn if she didn't look like sex on legs. Her pierced nipples perked up under the thin cloth, and when she sat down, she crossed her legs, leaving very little to the imagination. Did she have any idea what she was doing to him? What is it again? Oh. Yeah. "Robyn, I came over to tell you...." How could he do this? Just get it over with, Chris . "I can't be with you anymore." "What?" She stared at him with wide eyes, fully awake now. "Why?" "I'm not—" Her pretty face crumpled. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears and her smile disappeared. God, how can I do this to her? He had to. He would hurt her even more if he didn't. "I'm not good enough for you, Robyn." "Don't fucking say that. Lame ass excuse." "After dinner I went to Rocky's and I met a girl there." Robyn sucked in a sharp breath. "Nothing happened... not much happened. She invited me to her place and when I said no, she gave me her phone number." "You said no?" He heard a note of hope in her voice, and it was gonna kill him to dash it, but he had to. "I don't cheat, Robyn. I always break up with a girl before I go out with someone else." The hope faded from her eyes, and he forced himself to continue. "I'm just gonna end up breaking your heart. It's better to end it now before you get too attached." Her eyes narrowed. "Is that what you fucking think?" "Yeah." "You think you can just cut me loose and go on your fucking merry way." She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. Damn, she covered up those pretty nipples. "It's not like that, I—" "So what the fuck is it like then, huh?" Oh shit, I've pissed her off good. "Will you let me finish?" Why was she mad at him? "I care about you too much to hurt you." "Ha! You have a funny ass way of showing it." What the hell? "I'm trying to do the right thing—" "No you're not. You're trying to do the easy thing." "Easy? You think this shit is easy?" "Oh, yeah. A new pretty faced bitch comes along and you manage to say no, but instead of trying to make it work with me—the one you 'care so much' about—you run away like a fucking pussy, is it that hard Chris? You really can't keep your dick in one pussy? It hurts too bad?" "I cannot commit to one girl. I told you that. I'm just like my father." "That's just another lame ass deadbeat excuse that I'm tired of hearing." "That's a fact." "Bullshit!" Chris took a step back and stared at her. He'd expected to deal with tears and pleading, but this? "I touched another woman tonight. I kissed her. Doesn't that prove that I'm no good?" Robyn clenched her teeth so hard Chris thought her jaw would break. "Yeah, you're no good, but I'll be damned if I'll let you add me to your list of conquests. Trying to prove something so this shit will seem better, fuck outta here." "I would never—" "Get out!" She stalked across the room, driving him toward the door. Chris backed up so fast he nearly tripped over his own feet. "Robyn, wait—" "Get the fuck out!" She pushed him out the door and slammed it shut. That had not gone as planned. Chris shuffled out to the street and hailed a cab. He'd faced angry women before, but damn. His hands shook. Why was Robyn so angry? He should never have told her he'd kissed Lauren. That's my mistake. He sighed and fell back against the seat. He didn't want Robyn to be angry with him, but he couldn't do anything about it now. It was over. The cab turned down his street and he stepped out. When he reached into his pocket for some money, he found his cell phone. He looked up Lauren's phone number and felt nothing, not even a remote interest in her. He deleted it, knowing immediately that he'd done something right that night. Another name and number popped up: Kae - He deleted that one too. Draya—deleted. Jasmine—deleted. Kayla—deleted. He could have so many women. Why did he only want the one he couldn't have? Robyn.... He saved her number. Rachel—deleted. He crawled into bed alone that night. Was his father right? Would he ever be happy? Or was Robyn right? Was that just an excuse? He still didn't have any answers when his alarm went off in the morning. -- After she finished cussing Chris out and throwing things at the front door, Robyn went back to bed. Why am I so angry? He'd flirted with another woman, kissed her, put his hands on her body. That hurt, but when he just walked in and announced it was over, that was when she'd got pissed. He hadn't even tried to work things out with her. He'd just expected her to let him go. She couldn't let it end like this. She needed some control if she wanted to maintain her dignity. An hour later, she heard the front door open and shut. For a moment she held her breath, her foolish heart hoping Chris had come back, but when she heard keys land on the coffee table, she knew it was Mel. Robyn thought about getting up and talking to her—she missed that—but she didn't want Mel to know what Chris had done to her. Not yet. She couldn't think of anyone else she could talk to, no one else she could trust. All alone in the dark, she curled up into a ball and pulled the blankets up to her chin, suddenly missing her dad. She didn't move, staring at the clock as the hours ticked by one minute at a time. Without even thinking, she picked up her cell phone and dialed. "Hey Mama." "Robyn? What time is it? Are you all right?" She tried to answer but could only sob. "Ay, What tis wrong?" She took a deep breath, then another, struggling to find the words. "Chris, broke up with me." Saying it felt like a knife through her heart, sharp and stabbing. "I'm so sorry baby girl . Why he do it?" "He said he didn't want to hurt me." The knife twisted deeper. "Maybe it's for the best. Love can hurt. He a foolish boy to let go of you." "He keeps telling me that, but I don't want to believe him. I try to tell him that love should be easy, but he doesn't want to believe me either." Her mother chuckled, and Robyn wondered what was so funny. "Oh, Rih, you are just like your father." "What's wrong with that?" "Na-ting. He was just such an idealist, almost naïve. He believed that life was always wonderful and nothing bad would ever happen to us." "I'm not like that." "Where do you think you got the idea that love and life aught to be easy?" Robyn shrugged, and then remembered that her mother couldn't see her. "From Dad?" "You and I have both been through some very hard things. You lost your dad too young, and I lost my husband—but even before that, our life was hard. Your dad did his best not to let you know. Both of you chose to ignore life's difficulties and pretend everything was simple." What? If their life was so hard, did that mean...? "But I thought you and Dad were happy together." "We were, but we had to work at it. When we first got married things were pretty tough, but we faced our problems together, and after a while life did get easier for us. It took a lot of effort to get there, though." "Hm." Robyn hadn't realized that her parents had needed to work at their relationship. They made it look easy. Why couldn't it be like that for her? "But I want it to be easy now." She sobbed, not caring that she sounded like a whining child. The last few days had been such a struggle, and she just wanted to be done with it. "I know you do, Sweetie, but you're stronger than you think." Her mother chuckled again. "When I think of all the times you fought against me, I'm amazed at your determination." Did she have any left? Robyn wiped her face on her blanket. She could barely gather the strength to speak. "I'm so tired, Mommy." "Get some sleep. You'll be able to think better after you get some rest." "Okay." "I'm glad you called me, Robyn." "Me too." "I love you." "Love you too, Mama." She turned off the phone, unable to talk anymore tonight. Maybe Chris had been right: ending it now might be easier than fighting to stay with him. Why did she bother? She enjoyed the fun he brought to her life, but was that enough? Had he given up because they no longer had fun? What had Mike said to her? Your inner strength draws him to you. If Chris wasn't strong enough to keep them together, then she would have to be strong enough for both of them. He couldn't just walk out of her life. Actually, she'd pushed him out, but that was beside the point. He had to know why she'd been mad, and the sooner she told him, the better. If he still wanted out, she would say goodbye forever, but if he wanted her back.... It was a big risk, but she didn't have any other choice. -- "You look like hell." Chris grunted and struggled to open the refrigerator. "Where's the coffee?" "Not in there." Mike poured him a cup and put it on the table. "Rough night?" "Yeah." Chris slumped into a chair and sipped the hot coffee. Mike usually made good coffee, but it left a bitter taste in Chris' mouth this morning. "Yeah, it wasn't pretty." "Your dad?" "Uh-huh. And too much beer, hot girl at Rocky's .... Long story short, I broke up with Robyn." Mikes mug overflowed, scalding his hand. "Damn it! Why the fuck did you do that?" "I didn't want to hurt her." "You think breaking up with her didn't hurt?" He grabbed a towel and attacked the spilled coffee. Chris frowned. "No, it pissed her off." "So you dumped her for some girl you met at Rocky's?" "No. I turned the girl down. I ended it with Robyn because I'm gonna break her heart if we stay together much longer." "You are such an idiot." "Thank you." Chris' coffee made it halfway to his lips. "Um... what?" "Robyn was the best thing that ever happened to you. Did you even try to work things out?" He hadn't thought of that. "No." "Bitch.." "Hey, that's harsh." "I'm just getting started." Mike grabbed the coffee pot and dumped it down the sink. "She was good for you. Why did you have to go and ruin it?" "I did the right thing." Maybe if he said it out loud, he would believe it. "No. You didn't." Mike swiped Chris' mug. "I'm not done with that." "You were happy with her." "I'm happy with a lot of girls." But he hadn't known real happiness until he'd met Robyn. "You didn't know happiness until you met Robyn." How does Mike do that? "I know. I miss her already." "Good. Keep missing her." The pain he'd tried to hold off ripped through his heart. How could he make it stop hurting? He'd thought leaving Robyn would do it, but now wondered if he'd made a terrible mistake. Being without her hurt much more than being with her. "I want her back." "I'm not surprised." "How do I get her back?" "I don't know. You could charm your way out of this with any other girl, but Robyn can see right through your BS." "I know. I am so screwed." "Sucks to be you." Chris dropped his head in his hands and groaned." -- Robyn watched Chris from the edge of the football field. She stayed close to the bleachers, reasonably sure he couldn't see her. He threw a long pass down the field, way over Greg's head... again. Mike jogged over to Chris and smacked the side of his helmet. Robyn couldn't make out his words, but she understood his tone. Chris stood with his hands on his hips, looking down at the ground and nodding. "Hey Robyn! Heads up!" Robyn covered her head with her arms and ducked. Aubrey laughed and trotted over to her. "Sorry. Couldn't resist." She looked around, and when she figured out she wasn't the target of a wayward football, she scowled at Aubrey. "I'm so glad I could amuse you." "Lighten up, Robyn. You looked like you needed a laugh." She had to agree with him. "How's the knee?" "Better. Chris bandaged it up for me." "Nice to have someone take care of you." "Yeah, well... that's over." She sighed. "I'm sorry. What did he do?" "What do you think?" She looked at him shielding the sun with her hand. "Dumbass." Aubrey shook his head. She looked toward the football field again and watched Chris fumble a handoff to Mike. "I, ah...." Aubrey fumbled his words. "Maybe this is too soon, but I...." His face turned red as he cast his eyes toward the ground. Is he trying to ask me out? "I wonder if you'd like to go out with me sometime." Her eyes widened. She'd had no idea Aubrey liked her. Maybe other guys liked her too. She needed to start paying attention. A loud cheer went up from the field as Chris' throw finally connected with a receiver. Robyn watched him celebrate with his team and her heart flipped over. It didn't matter if anyone else wanted her. She still wanted Chris. "It's too soon, Aubrey." He nodded. "That's what I figured. But hey, anytime you need a laugh...." He pretended to kick her. She gave him a playful shove. -- "What the hell is she doing with that nigga?" "Who is doing what with...?" Mike took off his helmet and followed Chris' furious gaze to the bleachers. "Ah." "The hell. Look at her. She's laughing with him and touching him—" "You're the one who dumped her!" "Last night! Even I don't move on that fast." Mike threw his head back and laughed. "Shut up." Chris chucked his helmet on the bench and stormed over to the bleachers where Robyn was still giggling. Fortunately for Aubrey, he made it to the locker room before Chris got to Robyn. "I can't believe you're doing this to me. In front of the whole damn team!" Robyn's mouth fell open and she stared at him. "Just what do you think I'm doing?" Chris flung his arm toward Aubrey. "You used all those lessons I taught you on him. Flirting with him, teasing him—" "Are you fucking kidding me? Aubrey came over to ask about my knee." "Yeah, right. Is that why you had your hands all over him?" She scowled. "I gave him a little shove when he asked me out...." "I knew it! As soon as I'm out of the picture, you run right to another guy." "I did not—" "How long has this been going on?" "Has what been—" "I'll bet you had him waiting on the sidelines—" "Chris, I don't—" "—ready to come in and take my place as soon as-- "Chris, are you listening to yourself?" She said in a surprisingly calm tone. He closed his mouth and blinked. He'd heard this conversation before. Robyn's eyes narrowed. "This is exactly what you do to every girl you've ever gone out with." "No, not that." He shook his head. His parents had gone through this exact fight every time his mom caught his dad cheating. "Yes that. I am not going to stand here and let you accuse me of...." Her face turned red and her eyes burned right through him. "What were you thinking?" He wasn't thinking. He couldn't. As soon as he'd seen her with someone else, he'd just reacted. "Robyn, I want you back." Her eyes widened. "Yeah, this is the way to do it." "I don't know how to do it. I've never done this before." He reached for her, but she stepped back. "Please, Robyn." Her lips formed a hard line and she pinched the bridge of her nose again like her head hurt. "We need to talk. Now."
