Roswehn of Mirkwood

Mothers

"I had Roswehn at the age of thirty-eight." Yohlande said. "For an Elf, this number does not mean anything, but for a human woman it's an age when there's little chance of getting pregnant... in many cases, the last."

Thranduil listened intently, his hands behind his back. In front of them, on the terrace, the green landscape of its forest extended: it was pervaded by the shadows that evening was carrying with it.

Roswehn's mother was a mild person, shy and bewildered by that world she did not know, and in which she had gone to take away the girl. To take away his rose. But he would not give in: not him, Thranduil Oropherion, despite all the understanding he could have for the noble maternal feelings of Yohlande.

Roswehn had become too important in his life, not only because she would have given birth to a little prince, towards whom the king had great expectations, but because all of her had penetrated so deeply into him that he could not do without it. With dismay, he sometimes realized that not even for his wife he had ever had similar feelings.

"Roswehn should have had two brothers, you know, she wasn't supposed to be an only child." Yohlande continued. "I lost both of them.The first, Hannes jr., was born dead. After two years, my husband and I tried again: I got pregnant with another boy, who managed to come into the world ... but he was weak. I called him Ezra, like my father: he died at the age of two, of a disease that nobody could explain ... And then ... " the woman sobbed. "... after this second grief I had given up, I had put my heart in peace, you see, I was sure I would not have lived the joy of motherhood. Instead, Roswehn arrived four years later ... I am ashamed to tell you this but ... when she was born, I could not feel affection for her, I was sure that even that little girl would not have made it, that she would leave me, sooner or later ... So her first years passed without her mother's affection. Hannes adored her and took care of her, I nursed her but ... it was as if my heart had raised a wall between me and my child. I did not want to suffer again, I do not know if you can understand. "

The woman looked into his eyes, those blue eyes that looked a bit less glacial than usual at that time.

"I understand very well, Yohlande." Thranduil said. "My son Legolas has suffered the same pain, he too has grown up without maternal affection, but unlike Roswehn, he will never know it: my wife is in another life."

Yohlande nodded. "Yes, I know you have suffered, and I know that my daughter has partly managed to heal your wounds, I can imagine why you want to keep her here ... Seeing you with her today, I had the feeling that an infinitely deep bond unites the two of you."

At that point the woman folded her hands, as if in prayer. "Roswehn is my only daughter, it was a wonderful gift from Eru to my husband and I. As she is important to us, she is to you, now I know. So, I implore you: love her, love her for real. To leave her in your realm is an immense sacrifice for us, but we are ready to face it, if we know that you both are happy, if we know that you belong to each other, and that it was destiny, or the hand of Eru himself, to lead her here. "

Thranduil felt a thrill at those words. Before being in front of the tiny, old Yohlande Monrose, he had not thought about what had happened on the other side of his forest, in the little realm of Dale, when he had asked Roswehn to live with him.

The young woman had a life in the realm of mortals. He had stolen her from her people, her race, her parents. Sure, Roswehn had chosen in full freedom to move to Eryn Galen, but the King suddenly felt something in his heart, something annoying and pungent, something like a scruple, a little remorse; a buzzing and irritating little voice like the sound of a mosquito, coming straight from his conscience and telling him: maybe you should not have. Perhaps Roswehn was not wise enough to make such decisions, perhaps he had overestimated her capacity for discernment. She was intelligent, she was educated, but she was also unexperienced. . Maybe he should have allowed her to travel in the Middle-earth, let her go through more varied adventures, before asking her to enter his world, before impregnating her, before...