You Feel Like Sunlight

For my love that is forever and ever

I know nothing about you really. I know your name. I know where you live. I know some of your pain, I can't see it, I can't feel it. But I see you beside me every morning. I see your eyes, your hair, the curve of your hips, your lips, everything. I know how you brush your teeth. I know how you hunch your shoulders when you wake up early and read. I know how you smile, how your eyes crinkle at the sides and your dimples show. I know the face you make when you concentrate, curving your eyebrows downward with a slight frown on your face. You look so beautiful. I know that you'll take a quick shower at night before you go to bed and that your skin glows when you come out, exactly how you wrap your towel around your waist and, for that short moment I crave every time, you'll look at me when I look away. I love knowing that you're looking at me, love thinking that hidden under your clothes you are bare and maybe, just maybe, you're thinking about what's hidden under mine. But you couldn't possibly be aware that I think of your naked body every night, and lull myself to sleep imagining myself cradled in your arms, and you in mine.

I love to watch you hold your arms around your stomach and straighten your shoulders when you know people are looking at you. Sometimes, during the summer, you'll sit almost naked next to me, unaware that it is taking me everything I have left not to look. I never look, don't want to look, don't want to be caught looking, don't even want you to know that I'm struggling to not look, though I can see your hand inch towards mine and I am tempted to slip my fingers through yours to feel how soft your hands are in mine. You, of course, have only ever put your hand in mine once. I remember how it felt to feel at one with you, for when you and I are together there is no place where you start and I begin, we are one body. Your head on my shoulder and your hand in mine, we fit together like puzzle pieces.

You spark enough electricity in me to power cities.