Math Tutor||Lil Peep

Chapter 21: My Peepers

Friday
February 22 2018
5:56 AM
Gus's POV

"Hi, 911 what's your emergency?"

"Uh yea hi my friend killed herself."

"Is she breathing?"

"Uh, yea. Barely."

"Ok. I'll send some people over. Can you tell me your name and age?"

"Gustav Āhr. I'm 18."

"And what's your friends name and age?"

"Rose Arquette. She's 17."

"Ok. Is there anyone else in the house?"

"Yes. There's my friend Tracy, my friend Bexey, and her boyfriend Josh."

"Ok I'll send people over there. Just stay on the phone with me."

"Ok. I will." I weakly said. My hands were shaking, my hair was sticking to my face since I was crying so much. I weakly opened up the note and read it to myself, my voice trembling. There were nine notes.

Note 1:
Dear whoever finds me, I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore.

Note 2:
Dear Jada, I hate you. You made my life hell. You said you took me in to help me but let's be real now though, you just wanted someone to manipulate. But I'm dead now. And it's partially your fault. I hope you're happy. I know I'm happy now without you. And yes, I'm still friends with Gus. There's nothing you can do about it. I love him. I don't love Josh. So bye, for now. Hopefully even in heaven, I won't see you. And if I do, I hope it's you apologizing.

Note 3:
Dear Josh, I hope you're proud. You killed me like you always wanted. Well kinda. I killed myself but your the main reason why. You are horrible! You ruined my life. I only dated you so I could get my mind off of Gus leaving. But it turned into something more. Not a good something more though. Oh no. It was you starting to get abusive and brainwash me to think it was all my fault. It worked. I believed. Bye forever. Cause I know you'll go to hell.

Note 4:
Dear Crystal, hey sis. Remember when you found me and Gus fucking? Great times. It lead to something more than that. I love you. I hope you don't miss me when I'm gone. I hope you live your life and become a doctor like you've always wanted. The cops will find this and they'll find out about how dad and Josh is abusive. You don't have to worry about that. I'm happy now. I'm in heaven without the harsh reality of this cruel world. Bye.

Note 5:
Dear Paul, you're the best older brother I could've ever asked for. I never told you that Josh has been abusive to me. I only told Crystal. You already knew dad did but you couldn't do anything about it. I know you would have beat Josh's ass if you found out. Please don't miss me. I'm ok now. I lied and said I was fine after I'd get beat by dad when I wasn't. But I'm not lying when I say this, I feel fine now. I'm gonna be gone in less than ten minutes. Bye. I love you.

Note 6:
Dear Bexey, I met you not to long ago. Right away, you wanted to get rid of all my problems. You were always caring. Then you helped get to where I was. Thank you for that. I couldn't have asked for a better friendship. You always were nice to me and you never judged me. Then we made a song together and it got me more fans. But I never cared about fans. I cared about our friendship. And it was a damn good friendship. I know it's gonna be hard without me but it's fine. I promise. Bye.

Note 7:
Dear Tracy, I didn't know you that well. Not as well as Bexey and Gus but during those two months we were making a song together, I realized you weren't a fake friend who only had friends for clout. No, you were a true friend who cares about everyone. I wish we could've gotten to know each other even more but unfortunately, it's my time to go. Bye. I hope you become successful in life.

Note 8:
Dear dad, why did you abuse me? The last thing you did to me was knock me out. You didn't even say bye in the morning. I'm not even gonna say I love you or bye. Why would I? You hurt me emotionally and physically. You lost mom and your child. Are you proud of me? No. You never told me once that you loved me or that you were proud of me. You probably wish you did now, don't you? I know you do. You've opened up to me but that doesn't mean you love me.

Note 9:
Dear Gus, Peepers, Peep, daddy, I love you so much. And it hurts that I have to go. You're my everything. If I never met you, I probably would have killed myself a while ago. But everything that comes, goes. And it's my time to go. Yea I'm going but if I was meant to survive, then I would've survived this. I remember when you left, I was devastated. My only real friend was gone. Then my mom died and I felt shitty. Josh became my boyfriend and instead of helping, he made me feel shittier than I ever felt. This is the only way to get rid of the pain. These pictures around me symbolize my good memories. These candles are my mothers favorite scents. This song was the song you made for me which is why I asked yesterday. Bye. I love you. I don't only love you, I'm in love with you. Good bye, my peepers. ❤❤