Suicide... where do I begin with this? It's always been something I've looked to for help, something I want to do but I'm not strong enough to do it. I wish I was, I wish I could leave the world but my hands won't let me get rid of myself, do I want to live? If I cant do that can I at least cut? Yes. I will cut forever, I dont want to hurt anyone but it's just something I must do, it helps. It takes away my skin. It takes away my pain. It takes away my tears. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? So can I kill myself this way? Can I gain the strength to kill myself this way? Yes. I can. Will I? Yes. I will. This isnt a story, this isnt fiction, this is my life and you just have to accept this is like a diary to me and I'm writing my life away in this. This is for some people. Friends. I want them to know how I feel. How hard it is for me. I need them to give me the strength to do it. I want to leave forever but can I bring myself to do it? No. Never. Why? I have no idea. I want to leave. I want to go far away. I want to be an angel or a devil even. I want to leave without hurting anyone. Can I do that? No. Why? I dont know. Why am I so suicidal? BECAUSE IT HELPS! LET ME BE THIS WAY! STOP JUDGING ME BECAUSE THIS IS WHO I AM! IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THEN FUCK OFF! THIS IS ME AND YOU WONT CHANGE THAT ANYTIME SOON. STOP LEAVING ME BECAUSE I AM SO SUICIDAL AND YOU THINK IM WEIRD BECAUSE OF THAT. JUST FUCK OFF. ITS NOT HELPFUL. YOU MAKE IT HARD. just stop. Leave me alone. It doesn't help. I'll choose what I choose. Where i end up. I'll have the reasons why.
