Why cant you let me leave? Why do you have to hold on?let me go already! Stop trying to stop me! I know you care but I want to do this! Stop making it hard for me! JUST. LET. ME. LEAVE. I cant describe in words how much I want to stay. Am I strong enough to stay? Am I strong enough to go? Can you let go? Can you just let me leave? This is my choice after all. If I actually wanted to be here I would stay. I wouldnt be stabbing, strangling or doing whatever I need to leave the world. Make it better. I dont have friends. Cant you see? My real friends haven't met me for real. They're internet friends. I dont have what they have. I dont have a life. I dont have happiness. I have sadness and death. Death that awaits me. Better sooner than later right? Wrong. They are gonna miss me. I'm gonna hurt them. I dont want that. Some might cut. Some might cry. Even if they never did know me in real life. They'll act like they did. They'll cry the same way. They care the same way. It doesn't change anything. It never has and it never will. What if I dont leave the world? What if I stay and come back one day? I'll message you first and say the bitch is back in town. You will cry for days. Even if I'm not gone forever. This is where I choose to be and that wont change. Not unless he tells me to stop. Unless he tells me to stay. Unless he makes me. You dont understand. No one does. My parents dont know. They think I'm asleep. They think I'm fine. But am I? No. I'm not. I wish I was. But I'm not.
