radiant

25.

i stayed frozen in place. oh god it was her. her black hair and green eyes, her beautiful features. she was still as beautiful. she was in the hoodie i gave her. i missed her so much, and she was in front of me. only this time, i was frightened. i'm scared of what she'll might say. i didn't want to face the fact that i was the reason she suddenly went missing.

"a-alex." she whispered, her voice cracking. i softened at the sound of it. i missed it, the most.

"how could you?" i murmured. serenity's eyes were still staring into mine. her face was blank and she just stood there, still without an answer. my breathing was ragged and uneven. my heart was hammering at my chest.

"i'm sorry." she murmured back. the tears were glistening in her eyes. and i couldn't stop myself from what i said next.

"you know, serenity i spent days looking for you. i know that i could've done something to have pushed you away, but it doesn't give you any right to leave me. do you know how much time i stayed in my room? how much time i dwelled on why you left? god. and now here you are, what do you expect? after all this time i would come back to you, and we would spend eternity together? well you're wrong. i want an explanation. and until you can get that sorted out don't bother apologizing." i spat out. it felt better to let out all the emotions that were building up inside. i was tired of games. my mind flashed back to carter when

camille left and didn't answer him. he threw up several times after camille left, i told him she had a reason. he always rejected that idea and continued to blame himself. i felt bad for yelling at him, but now i feel like a bitch. serenity's tears slowly streamed down her face and my breathing pace slowed down. realization set in as i watched her cry.

"alex. you're not listening." she managed to say between tears.

she's right. i'm not listening. "why did you leave then?" i questioned.

"when you asked me out.. i was scared. what if we break up? i would lose you. i've lost so many people and losing you would be the worst. i couldn't handle it so i ran. i run from what i'm scared of, especially my problems."

i realized, she was right. i was the reason she left, and the guilt washed over me like a storm.

"serenity."

serenity wrapped her arms around me and dug her face into my shoulder. i hugged her back, securing her. we both knew what this meant, and i was ready to overcome everything with her. I was ready to face all the problems with her, and I wouldn't want anything else. this was our eternity. i let go of her and looked into her eyes, and for the first time, i saw her eyes light up and she smiled.