Bittersweet // Jikook

03

Debasement; the action of reducing the value or quality of something.

Once again Jimin was seated in the counsellor's office, not wanting to talk about anything that had been going through his head those past few days. It was a nightmare to him, the graphic dreams he had been having of making an ideal life for his family once more. He didn't want to kill his father, he just wanted to get rid of him. It was a very confusing situation to be in when your morals say one thing, but your brain is telling you something completely different.

His SPHE teacher noticed the smile no longer on the student's face and the way the boy cringed when he was asked if he was okay. It was like he wanted to say no but it would just lead to more questions which he wasn't ready to answer. He hated the thought of this idea even coming to him but the possibility of a good impact were high, even if he got caught...which he wouldn't because he wouldn't do anything of the sort to the man who raised him.

“Jimin, it’s strange to see you back here.” Mr Kim gave the student a warm smile.

The counsellor sat with his legs crossed and his hands linked together, peering over the thin round frame of his glasses which were perched expertly on the end of his nose. He had a friendly smile on his plump lips and was awaiting good news, even though he knew he wouldn't get that.

Mr Kim had been working with Jimin since his brother passed and they had built a strong trust, the man would often say hello and have conversations with Jimin in the hallway. They talked more like friends than professionals, but that was how Jimin preferred it because it was easier to confide in the older man if he though of him as a companion.

“Mr Kim, did I ever tell you about my father?” Was the first thing that came out of Jimin’s mouth. He knew he hadn’t spoken about the man because of how dearly his mother wanted her husband to stay, but he had to do this for her sale and for his.

“Actually, I don’t believe you have.”

The tone in the man’s voice was full of concern, he sat forward slightly in his chair. His hopes were that it wasn’t even close to what he was thinking. The thought of the lovable boy being hurt so badly was terrifying.

Jimin gave the man a look of pure depression yet he had a smile on his face, like he was trying to hide something but subtly reveal the truth.

“He was hard working, when we were younger he would take us up the mountains to find different creatures and bugs and learn things from them.” The forced smile faded. “When he lost his job everything changed...his priority became getting booze instead of keeping the family together and now-” The boy cut himself off to stop from saying anything he would regret later because he knew he did that too often.

“What you say here is confidential, but if your dad is hurting you I’ll have to say something to the authorities.” Said Mr Kim with a frustrated look on his face.

He watched as the boy looked at the ground, he wasn't crying like he usually would if something about his family was brought up. He seemed numb to any mention of his father, like he had this burning hatred for him instead of love.

“It’s not me I care about, sir.” a whisper made it from the boy’s mouth. “It’s my mum...she loves him so much, I did too until I saw what he did to her.” He slowly rolled up the cuffs of his sleeves, as the material was raised higher so many bruises and contusions were revealed. Blemishes of all shades of purples and blues.

“I hate him.” Jimin managed to say through gritted teeth, his eyes were screwed tightly as if he was trying to force the memories of his father out of his head. His hands held onto the tops of his arms, trying to hide himself from the world as he rocked back and forth with fear.

He wasn't sure what he was so scared of, maybe it was himself but he knew he needed to leave. The boy hurriedly pulled his sleeves down and grabbed his schoolbag off the floor roughly before running from the office.