Jesses Heart

Don't Cry

"You did what?" Nevy laughs at my picture idea.

"That's something a serial killer would do." Kyle laughs. I roll my eyes.

"Shut up Kyle, you're still replaceable." I mutter. Nev laughs and Kyle sat quietly at the table realizing the mistake he made.

"I thought it was cute, but he hasn't called me back yet." I tried to mask my sadness but Nevy always saw through me.

"Don't worry baby, he will." She grabbed my hand reassuringly and my phone buzzed. Nev and I exchanged glances and she grabbed my arm as I lurched for it.

"Wait! You don't want to seem desperate!"

"But I am!" I whined. She let it ring once more, then she answered.

"Hello?" Nevy answered. She listened and nodded. A couple okays then.

"Yeah! Alrighty, see you later! Bye!" Her face lit up as she hung up.

"What what is it?" I asked. I was so nervous. What did he ask? Did he even want to talk to me?

"Relax kiddo! It wasn't him." She rolled her eyes.

"Then who was it?" I questioned, eager to know what happened.

"It was your brother." I sighed. Nev had always loved my older brother Jordan. I don't know what it was she loved so much about him, but she had admired him since I was 15, she was 16, and he was 21. She always thought she would marry him but I knew it was a long shot. He was living with a girl in New York City.

"He was trying to arrange something, he wanted to visit you!" She said excitedly.

"Then why are you so excited?" Kyle asked, a look of hurt crossed his face.

"Because Jesse has missed her brother for a while." She looked at me and rubbed my arm.

Sad thing was it's true. I ached to see my brothers again. Ever since my parents died, everything went to shit. I never really had a family outside of them and Nev. I felt a strong ache rock through my body.

"I'm going to take a nap, is that ok?" I asked. Neveah saw right through me.

"Want me to lay down with you baby?" She looked at me like I was broken. And I was. I hurt. Everyday I woke up and felt like something lingered above my head, and the truth is,

Something did.

"No I'm fine!" I pulled a smile that Kyle fell for but Nevy didn't believe it for a second.

"Are you thinking abo-"

"Nev." I looked down at my now sweating palms and shuttered. Dark thoughts flooded my mind and I tried to push them back as hard as I could. I fought the tears coming so hard. I bit my lip until I tasted blood.

"Jesse wait..." I was already moving to my bedroom door. It was connected to the living room so I reached it quickly. I closed the door gently and locked it, then I slowly slid down to the floor until my eye lids couldn't contain the oceans of tear sitting behind them. I didn't make a noise, I just let them flood out.

I woke up on the floor. My cheeks were wet with tears and as I got up I realized the pounding in my head. I went into the bathroom of my room and looked int the mirror. Big mistake, the tears streaked my swollen pink cheeks and eyes. I looked out the window and it was dark. I stripped and turned on the hot water. I sank to the bottom of the shower and let the water run down my spine as I buried my head in my knees. When it ran cold I slipped out of the shower and into a pair of my brothers black sweatpants, a black sports bra, and a zip up hoodie which remained unzipped. I flung my red hair up into a wet bun on top of my head and took a deep breath. I opened the door, which was unlocked now, and walked into our dark living room. I got into the kitchen and found a note.

Baby,

Kyle and I went out to tour the town. I broke into your room before we left but you were sleeping next to the door. I left phish food ice cream on the freezer door. They have it here too. I love you. Call me when you wake up.

~Nevy

I walked to the fridge and got out my ice cream. I plopped down on the couch and turned on a chick flick and cried a little more.

I was only about fifteen minutes into the movie until I heard some one knock on the door. I wiped my face and zipped my jacket about an inch above my belly button. I unlocked the door and there he stood.

"Hey- what happened?" All 6'4" of him with that dark hair that caressed his forehead almost dipping down into his eyes looked down on me.

"I-I- uh thought you were Neveah, um-" I zipped my jacket so my bra was covered.

"Jesse are you okay?" His features softened. And for once in my life, I let go. I just crumpled, my knees have out but Tanner caught me before I hit the floor.

"I can't do this anymore!" I cried.

A/N

Do you ever get that feeling that you've done something you can't fix, and then you get that knot in your stomach.

Ya... Me too.