you're the only thing that's keeping me alive

chapter 11

I'm woken up much later by voices outside my door. It's dark outside so I know I've been asleep for some time. I sit up and after stretching, make my way to the door. I don't open it at first, curious as to who's outside it. I think it's Vic and Tony but I'm not totally certain at first, until I hear Tony's voice saying how I'd wanted to go to the police station to get William's name cleared. Then how I'd gotten upset and fell asleep. Then Vic tells Tony about me falling asleep again after speaking with Danielle. I can't help it. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I keep getting that feeling of exhaustion washing over me. I open the door and Tony and Vic both jump in fright. I look down at the floor before running to the bathroom and locking the door. The tears run down my face. I'm scared, I feel lost and I don't know what to do.

I hear a gentle knock on the door and Tony's voice calling my name. I sob harder. I've been sent here for a reason and I feel I'm letting everyone down. I don't have the first idea what I'm supposed to do anymore. I feel my legs buckle beneath me and I'm on the soft carpet. I hear a jiggling sound at the door and it opens. Vic has undone the lock from outside. Tony picks me up and carries me back to the bedroom, Vic following behind. Tony lays me down on the bed and takes my hand in his. I feel the exhaustion hitting me again and this makes me sob harder. I've barely been awake 10 minutes, after sleeping most of the day.

"You're doing what you're meant to darling" says a voice. "He needs you."

I see my mother smiling at me. Now I'm confused.

"What am I doing?" I scream. "I don't understand."

I jolt upright in my bed. It's just getting light outside. I breath deeply a few times to calm myself before making my way to the stairs. My feet feel less tender this morning so I carefully make my way down. I haven't eaten in a while due to all the sleeping and I feel somewhat weak. I get a drink of water and a piece of bread from the refrigeration cupboard. I break small pieces off and hope Vic and Danielle won't mind. I see a book on the side that Danielle has been reading - The Tale of Emma Rose, so I pick that up. I also see a fruit bowl so take an apple. The sweet taste soon perks me up so I decide to go outside. I haven't been into the garden yet. I slide the big glass door open and step onto a paved area. The grass just beyond looked so pretty and further down there was a double swing. I make my way over to it and sit down, nibbling on my apple. I feel so revitalized at this moment, even though the dream has left me shaken. I sit there for a while, swinging away, reading and enjoying the quiet.

I look up as the sliding door opens. Tony starts walking towards me, a look of concern on his face.

"How are you feeling today?" he asks.

"I feel really good" I say, smiling shyly. The thing is, I do. I feel refreshed. Apart from the dream I had a good sleep. Tony sits next to me on the swing and asks me if I want to do something with him today. Does he like being around me that much? I nod, knowing if I'm with him I should be able to do something right. I stand up to go and get dressed and tell Tony I won't be long. He follows me into the house and waits on the couch for me. I have a good look through all the clothes Danielle bought me yesterday and decide on a pair of black jeans and a blue short sleeved blouse. I tie my hair back and look in the mirror. My eyes seem more blue than ever today - almost turquoise.

I head back downstairs and see Vic talking with Tony. I smile at them both shyly and Tony gets up to lead me to his car. At least now I'm capable of walking a bit, so I follow him outside. It's almost lunchtime so he says he's taking me for something to eat. I'm glad as I'm starving. We go to a small sandwich shop with a seated area outside. I ask for a ham and cheese sandwich, toasted (Tony's recommendation) and apple juice. He orders and our food is brought out within minutes. A voice jolts me from my thoughts.

"So she's why you dumped me, huh? Nothing to do with your mother" a blonde woman is saying to Tony. She gives me a nasty look and continues shouting at him. I see his eyes growing sad so I jump up and confront this loud woman.

"I only met Tony this week - don't you accuse him of cheating or me of ruining your relationship. What gives you the right to be so rude?" She looks shocked but then just walks off. I take hold of Tony's hand and drag him up off his chair and back towards his car. I feel the exhaustion coming back and I'm suddenly falling to the ground.