The Volturi's secretary's secret

Volturi Burns!!!

Aro and Carlisle were taking in the gardens about their lives. Marcus was reading his favorite book, Caius stomping because he had nothing to do. Until.
"Hey papa Caius, you wanna play rap battle with me?" Ana asked.
Caius smiles at her.
"Sure I would, what is a rap battle?" He asked.
"Oh that's singing in quick rhythm and in camas, here let give you an example;
You don't mess with me,
You dumb little vamp don't mess with me,
You little, you little, you little dumb vamp don't be messing with me,
Or you'll be losing your no brain, no good head,
And be set on fire bro,
You little dumb,
Don't be messing with me,
You don't mess with me,
Don't be messing with me,
You don't mess with me,
So I heard that you got people with fancy gifts,
Then you use them to make us puny,
What on a earth do you take me for?
I'm not all that but I am a,
You don't mess with me,
You dumb little vamp don't be messing with me,
Or you'll be losing your no brain, no good head,
And be set on fire bro;
But it has to be directed towards me, you would want to burn me."
"Really?" Ana nods. "Oh, this will be fun. I'll start;
I'm a Volturi as happy as can be,
Don't make me eat you,
Or you'll be dried up,
Don't be retard and you'll be fine,
Don't tempted me or your future will be headless,
Uh, I'm a Volturi as cruel an' happy as can be-
I seal your fate with the snap of my fingers and you die-
I don't care a dog's hole for you not turning a human-
You did not follow the law I have all allegations to rip your head off-
I love my job and enjoy setting fire to your body-
I'm a Volturi as happy as can be,
Don't make me eat you,
Or you'll be dried up,
Don't be retard and you'll be fine,
Don't tempted me or your future will be headless,
Don't care about you!" His finished with a snarl. How it was Ana's turn.
"Oohoo, oohoo, ohoaoh,
You know you love me,
I know you care,
Even if I was not your wife,
You would be dying for me,
You are the one,
And will never ever eat me,
Are you denying?
Boy stop your cruel mess,
It was a pain in my vein but now I'm feeling like,
Baby, baby, baby, oooh,
Baby, baby, baby, oooh,
Baby, baby, baby, oooh,
You care about me and love me,
Baby, baby, baby, oooh,
Baby, baby, baby, oooh,
Baby, baby, baby, oooh,
So ah-
Then he saw he, he couldn't beat me
I was do'n my job like any other-
His brothers were so interested in me and never paid attention to him because he just was so boring-
But when I came in the picture he all about he even when he denied it-
He still denies it but he knows that his flesh burns for me-..."
"WHAT THE HELL!!!" Athenodora interrupted the rap battle between Ana and Caius. "Caius, how could you? You traitor!!! Aahhh I don't ever want to see you again!!!" She started tearing onto her hair.
"Wait mom!! We are having a rap battle, mom stop!" Ana tried to stop and calm her down.
"Athenodora we were playing around dear she never mean it that way."
"Lies!"
"Mom it's true."
"Get out of my sight!"
"Darling calm down."
"You betrayed me!"
"No I didn't, love."
"Fool! I loved you!"
"Mom calm down."
"I don't care about how cruel you are!"
"Athenodora please dear stop."
"I gave tens of fucks over your flat, paled, ass!"
"Whoa."
"And your girly body!"
"Dear please!"
"All for what for you to do this to me?!"
"Mom please, we were singing."
"Did I ever was not enough for you?"
"JUST SHUT THE HELL UP WILL YOU!!!!!" That worked.
"Um, Dad. Caius." Ana tapped his arms.
"What?" He snarled.
"We have company." She said lowering her voice. Then Caius looked at Demetri, Felix, Santiago, Heidi, and Chelsea.
"Is everything alright Master Caius?" Heidi asked.
"Yes is just my daughter and I were having a rap battle." Caius explains.
"What's that?" Felix asked.
"It's when you sing while teasing your competitor." Ana explains.
"Cool, can we join?" Demetri asks.
"Sure, why not. Who starts?" Ask Ana.
"I will." Athenodora said.
"My love?"
"Well you shut me up it's my turn to shut you up;
You lock me up at a tower,
come when you wanna do it-
Then when went to Forks and,
you wanted to kill a child,
just a child-
She was not immortal child,
half and half she had blood-
Yet you stupid hoe you wanted a fucking fight-
Well let me tell you punk,
I'm so sick of you-
Sick of you-
You're cruel-cruel-cruel
Very cruel
Cruel-cruel-cruel
Very cruel-
Watch out for your little ass-
Don't be going around with that body of Aphrodite-
Men might think that you are easy-
So don't come crying to me when you get knocked up-
Cause man I've been telling you forever of our immortal lives,
You may be a man but from far away there are questions about your gender-" Athenodora finishes her song.
Our mouths are hanging down, Athenodora just ultra burned Caius.
"Damn!" Felix shouted.
"Oh shit!" Demetri said.
"Oh my God my lady!" Chelsea was shocked.
"Hold up, hold up I got one for Demetri. You ready?"
"Bring it on!"
"You and I are two,
Too big for this town,
And I'm afraid that one of us has go-o-o-o-o
And it will not be me,
O-o-o-o
I will not this town dude,"
"So you say that one of us has to leave-
Then it has to be you man-
Cause with your big ass height-
You'd be causing an earthquake-
I mean seriously my man I love you-
But there's no way I'm leaving-"
"Ooh-
Well played man but for your information-
My master owns this place-
And why the hell am I bringing that up-
Because he turn me into a vampire-
So I have more rights than you to set foot in this town-"
"You were turned by an madman-
The reason you're here is cause you're gifted-
But I'm the baddest here man-
And I won't leave-"
"So what if you been transformed by a crazy hyper old man-
Fuck him and you-
He's overrated overdue grave-
I mean, sure he is dangerous but dumb-
You followed in all his footsteps man-
That's why he let a little girl be leader of the elite guard-
Because he is even weak man-
He is shorter than Alec and me he looks like a dwarf who ate growing mushrooms-
He has no paper to dare with me-"
"Huh, Demetri." Santiago tried to stop him.
"The only thing he has is his power and nothing else-
Much lamer than Shakespeare at play-
Much fossil as the dinosaur-"
"Demetri stop." Ana was looking at Aro who was stepping closer to Demetri.
"He makes noises while banging his wife and that's why-
She doesn't come out of the tower-
So no body will question why there isn't a smile on her face-
Obviously Aro is bad in bed-
Makes it louder for his woman to please all night-
But we all know that he has not grown-
So you Felix, I'm sorry to say your creator sucks-
Ain't it a pain that the truth was let out-"
All the guard had went to see what the commotion was about. Snickering and fighting the laughter as Demetri insulted Aro who was right behind him.
Aro was getting madder and madder.
Then he swings at Demetri but the guard did a low dance move, hitting Felix instead.
"Ahh! Ow!" Yelped Felix.
"Yep you feel my power now-
Because my power is that of a beast-
And not of a failure old man-
Ouch! Son of a bitch, who hit-oh...hi master." Demetri said shaking.
"Who is a failure old man?" Growled Aro.
"Oh. Um...uh, *gulp* it was uh. Some other old man that is a failure. You're not the only one master."
Silence.
"That came out wrong." Demetri said stating the obvious.
"Yes it did. Why the hell did you insult me!?" Aro shouted angrily and Demetri whimpered.
"Father, we were having fun." Ana intervene.
"Fun? Do you think insulting me is fun?" Aro growled at his daughter.
"No, Demetri meant to teased Felix winning in a rap battle."
"Rap battle?"
"Yes father a rap battle."
"What is that?"
"A fight, only singing in rap."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah Demetri never meant to insult you. Demetri say you're sorry and get on your knees and beg forgiveness."
Demetri got on his knees. Sobbing.
"Please master I'm so sorry, please forgive me. *kisses Aro's hand* I'll do whatever for you to forgive me please master just don't kick me out of the Volturi please!!!!"
Aro had to yank his hand out of Demetri's grasp.
"Fine, alright. I forgive you, only that I do admire how low you went in insulting Felix. I need to give you a meddle for that." Aro said clasping his hands.
"What's going on here?" Marcus was the last to go into the room.
"We were having a rap battle just Ana and I. That until Athena came at the moment Ana was singing in rhythm about me liking her and she made a huge fuss." Caius explained.
"And then I joined in, rapped about him being cruel. He a man for that but far away you can't tell if that's the man who is merciless or a woman."
"Athenodora!!" Caius said through his closed teeth while Athenodora smirked.
"True that." Sulpicia added.
"Sulpicia!" Caius snarled.
"That's true," Corin said, "when I first met him I thought that he was a tall blonde with no boobs."
"That's enough!" Caius shouted.
The whole guard giggled.
"Well who's idea was to sing in rap battle anyway?" Jane asked curiously.
"Oh it was mine. Do you want to learn how?"
"Well sure, this could be a new hobby for us." Afton said.
"Rapping and burning each other. Call it Volturi burn." Alec said.
"You all may, but don't you ever insult or add Caius, Marcus, and I to your rapping burns ever. Understood?"
"Yes master!" All the guard said in unison.
"Good." Aro was pleased.
"How do you do it?" Renata asked.
"Well here's an example;
You don't mess with me,
You dumb little vamp don't mess with me,
You little, you little, you little dumb vamp don't be messing with me,
Or you'll be losing your no brain, no good head,
And be set on fire bro,
You little dumb,
Don't be messing with me,
You don't mess with me,
Don't be messing with me,
You don't mess with me,
So I heard that you got people with fancy gifts,
Then you use them to make us puny,
What on a earth do you take me for?
I'm not all that but I am a,
You don't mess with me,
You dumb little vamp don't be messing with me,
Or you'll be losing your no brain, no good head,
And be set on fire bro;
You little dumb,
Don't be messing with me,
You don't mess with me,
Don't be messing with me,
You don't mess with me,
So what if you got the best prize in the world,
And that they turned out to be smarter than us,
The crap I don't care about your funky teens,
I mean curse that-
I don't care about your means-
Screw with you and your weirdo family-"
"ANA LEAH VOLTURI!!! You just did not.!" Aro was beyond furious.
"What? I'm only setting an example." Ana said confused with her father's outrage.
"Ana, there's one dumb vamp with a weirdo family, with funky, prizes, and fancy gifts in teens here." Caius said trying to hold back his laugh.
"Caius, you are not helping at all!" Aro growled.
"What? What are you talking about? I didn't insult anyone!" Ana said frustrated.
"Ana, honey, you did insult someone." Marcus said calmly and loverly.
"Who?!"
"Carlisle."
"And the freaking dog crap is Carlisle?!" Ana sassily said.
"That would be me." Carlisle step in for her to see him.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Carlisle."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Wow. You should go and yell at your father for giving you that name."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because he should have consoled with the priest before naming you."
Carlisle's eyes popped out of his face. Caius started to laughing and rolling on the ground. The wives were amazed but shameful of her behavior. The guard laughed among with Caius. Some were cheering Ana up while others were talking about what a scene. Aro of course was giving her death glares.
Alec ran and close into Carlisle's face yelling.
"YOU JUST GOT VOLTURI BURNED!!!"