Behind A Smile ✔

7

  "You're such a disgrace to this family. I pray dad never forgives you for this." Rashida seethed from the other side of the door.

  Sobs wracked Zynah's body, a choked, gasping sound. In all the years she had lived with her sister, she still couldn't comprehend why she was hated by her so much. She had tried to talk to her severally, but her efforts were futile. She refused to even give a listening ear to her and it always made her regret her decision to extend an olive branch. Aren't siblings supposed to support one another in time of need? Rashida was the complete opposite. They didn't share any sisterly bond.

  "Hey! I'm speaking to you. I hate to be ignored — you know this, right?" Rashida hurled. Her distasteful behavior hadn't just begun, but each barb felt like a fresh wound reopening. Each day brought a new, flabbergasting episode, leaving Zynah bewildered. Her sister was a master of disguise, a chameleon shifting colors depending on the audience. In front of their parents, Rashida would transform into the picture perfect sibling, showering Zynah with fake concern and smiles. But the moment they were alone, her mask would fall off.

  Zynah's head was buried in her hands, muffling the tears that wracked her body. She did not notice the presence of her sister in her room, until she spoke in her usual harsh voice. "Dad asked me to bring you this." She said, gruffly, dropping the plate of food in front of her.

  Zynah lifted her head slowly; her eyes red and puffy. "I don't have an appetite." Her voice was low, almost inaudible.

  "Wow!" Rashida breathed heavily. "You don't have an appetite! Well, good for you. If it had been up to me, I wouldn't be doing this, but dad specifically told me to make sure you have something to eat."

  Zynah's head snapped to her direction abruptly. "Has he forgiven me?"

  "You can ask him yourself." She rolled her eyes and sauntered out of the room.

  Knowing her sister wouldn't tell her anything no matter how desperate she was, she decided to follow her and persuade her. Her dad's anger towards her wasn't healthy for any of them. Fortunately for her, Rashida forgot to lock the door. She took the opportunity and hurried out.

  Firstly, she went to her room and when she didn't find her, she decided to look in the kitchen and luckily for her, she was in there. "Ya Rashida." She called as she took a stepped a foot into the kitchen.

  Whirling around impetuously, she snapped. "What?" Her eyes suddenly widened, a sudden realization dawning on her face. "Who let you out?" She demanded.

  "You left the door o—"

  "I did." She cut her off. "Does that mean you're..." She trailed off, seething. "It's your aim to get me in trouble with dad, right? Sorry to burst your bubbles, but it's not going to work." She hissed and lunged forward, grabbing her by the arm.

  Zynah's gaze darted to her sister's hand around her arm. "Please, let me go." She pleaded. "I just want to know if dad is still upset with me or not."

  Not listening to her pleas, she proceeded to drag her out of the kitchen and towards their room.

  Fueled by a surge of defiance, Zynah yanked her arm free. "I said let me go." She yelled, her voice hoarse and eyes red from crying so much, coupled by the anger rising in her. She was getting fed up, putting up with Rashida's aggravation. The urge to fight back was getting bigger.

  An awestruck Rashida gazed at her with her lips agape. Perhaps she hadn't expected her to react like that. Zynah had always tolerated her maltreatment in silence. Not even their parents were aware of it.

  "Please just tell me; is dad still mad at me for the mistake I committed?" She continued. "That's all I need to know."

  A single glare from Rashida was the confirmation Zynah needed to know that she wasn't going to get any information from her sister. A defeated sigh escaped her lips and she turned to leave the kitchen. Just as she reached for the doorknob, a horrifying shriek tore from her throat as a hot liquid splashed all over her right leg.

  Jerking awake abruptly, Zynah was sweating profusely. With the hem of her nightgown, she wiped the sweats that prickled her forehead and started whispering silent prayers beneath her breath.

  When the last murmur of her prayer faded, her gaze drifted across the room, to Bilal, who was sprawled on his side of the bed, sleeping peacefully, while she, on the other hand, kept having restless nights. A pang of envy pierced through her.

  She averted her gaze from him and turned around. "Why do these flashbacks keep coming to haunt me?" She asked herself; a lone tear escaping her eye. Her hand trailed down to her leg and she caressed the huge scar, a cruel souvenir that was birthed on that fateful day. The memories of her past would ever stop hunting her until the day her soul finally departs her body. It would forever linger on.

  Ramlah — she remembered her younger sister and more tears fell freely from her eyes. She was the only one who supported her. The only one who had sleepless nights with her. Whenever Zynah would wake up in the night due to the many thoughts on her mind, Ramlah would stay awake with her to keep her company. She really did miss her a lot.

  Squeezing her eyes shut, Zynah conjured an image of her sister smiling. How she wished she could turn it into reality. To be able to see her smile once more. To hug her tightly for a long time. But it was impossible, a sharp pang of reality pierced her hope.

  Sleep seemed to have vanished from Zynah's eyes, making her toss and turn restlessly. She recoiled as Bilal stirred in his sleep and his eyes slowly opened.

  Why wasn't she careful? — she mentally reprimanded herself. Now he wouldn't allow her dwell peacefully in her state of melancholy.

  "What's wrong with you?" He groaned and in the next second, his soft snores could be heard.

  Zynah heaved a sigh of relief.

  Knowing she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, she left the comfort of the bed and ambled to the bathroom to perform wudhu (ablution) — she would use the opportunity to pray nafl (voluntary) prayers, instead of lying idly in bed and dwelling in misery. She spent some extra hours making supplications to Allah and praying for the wellbeing of her family wherever they were.

  The day broke slower than she had anticipated. Immediately she was through with fajr (dawn) prayer, she sauntered downstairs to the kitchen to prepare breakfast — it had always been a routine for her.

  After thirty minutes or so, she was able to prepare a breakfast of fried eggs and toasts. She had hers in the kitchen and Bilal's was put in a flask for she didn't know when he would wake up. Normally, he was a late riser.

  Placing the flask on the table, she heard the doorbell ring. She wondered who it was as she sauntered towards the door. Before she could open the door, the person had started pounding furiously on the door. "Hold on." She hollered, but that didn't help give a tad bit of patience to the unknown person as she continued pounding away.

  Unlocking the door, Zynah twisted the doorknob. "I told you to b—" Her eyes widened in horror, the sentence dying on her lips as the face that greeted her wasn't the one she had expected. "Nazmeera?" she rasped. It couldn't be. It had to be an hallucination.