Behind A Smile ✔

10

Due to the call to prayer, Zynah broke out of her trance. She wiped a lone tear from her eye and swallowed a lump in her throat. She was tired of living like an outcast in a house that was supposed to be her home. The regret of the decision she made years ago was eating her up.

  Momentarily, she contemplated on leaving the house and going very far away from all of her worries and problems - away from her marriage. Away from her monster of a husband, Bilal, but the big question was; would she be able to succeed?

  Ambling to the bathroom, she performed wudhu (ablution) and emerged afterwards. She spread the prayer mat by the corner of the room and began to pray to the creator of the universe. Like always, she cried in sujood (prostration) and pleaded with Allah, the most merciful and compassionate to make a way for her. A way out of her sham of a marriage. She wanted to be strong - she really tried, but her courage and patience had been exceeded. She couldn't fight any longer. She was tired. Exhausted. This wasn't a life she was meant to live. She wouldn't live another day like this. If an opportunity to escape presented himself, she would seize it without thinking twice. The first thing on her mind, was to return to her family and beg for their forgiveness and rebuild the bridges she had burned when she chose Bilal over them.

  Folding the mat after praying, she walked into her walk-in closet and dragged out her box. Heaving a deep sigh, she began to fold her clothes into the box. Tears welled up in her eyes as she took a certain abaya in her hands - a clothing gifted to her by Ramlah. She could remember the day she gave it to her very vividly. She had returned from school and met it on her bed. She instantly took a liking to it, for it was exactly her taste. The colours were not too lucent and the design was perfect. Admiring the abaya, Ramlah walked into the room and asked if she liked it. She nodded with a smile and could only wish it was hers. She couldn't suppress the smile on her face when she was told it was hers. Since then, she had cherished it for it was more than just a piece of clothing to her, it was the first gift her little sister had given her with her very own first earning.

  Another tear escaped Zynah's eye as she dwelled in the memory. She missed Ramlah terribly and couldn't stop imagining what was currently happening in her life. Was she married already? In spite of not being in good terms with her older sister, Rashida, before she left, she couldn't stop worrying about her as well. Perhaps she was already married as well and her parents, she wondered how they would react on seeing her again after more three years.

  The rustle of clothes ceased abruptly. Zynah's head snapped up, a strangled gasp escaping her lips as the bedroom door creaked open. Her heart began to thump faster against her ribs, each beat faster than the previous. There, standing in the doorway, stood Bilal.

  Trembling visibly, beads of sweats started to form on her forehead, tracing down the sides of her face.

  His expression, however, was deadpanned.

  Her heartbeat skyrocketed as he began to take composed, yet dangerous strides towards her. Without fail, she knew she was done for - doomed. "I..." She attempted to make up an excuse to save herself from his brutality, but ended up trailing off.

  He raised a hand and reflexively, Zynah flinched and backed away.

  After a second or so, she reopened them when she felt his hand on her forehead, caressing it affectionately. Her lips parted to say something, but no words could emerge. Her brows furrowed in absolute confusion.

  "Why are you sweating so much, despite the air conditioning?" He questioned. "Are you sick?"

  "I..." She stuttered. "I... Am perfectly alright."

  He was about to say something, when his gaze darted to the box lying behind her. His demeanor hardened instantly. "What is that for?" He questioned, his voice laced with confusion.