《Weeping in the visions》[TODODEKU]

~Chapter nineteen~

Izuku pov

"Midoriya, honey, you need to go eat breakfast. You've been with Todoroki all night."

"No."

"At least go get dressed then. You can get dressed and then bring your breakfast in here. As long as you don't make a mess."

"...okay,"

I suppose recovery girl is right. I don't want to argue with her. I guess I need to change my clothes and eat.
I still haven't read the note he left either.

Once I got up in my room, I put on some khaki shorts Todoroki's flannel. It's comforting.
When I pulled off my shorts from the night before, I took the note out. I slowly unfolded the small piece of paper

To whoever finds this note, preferably Izuku.

I'm sorry that you this had to happen.
I'm sorry that I met you and just pestered you.
I'm sorry for just wasting your time.
No one will miss me, I'm sure that you'll be alright.
Look at me, I can't even find hope.
I'm sorry that I lied to you about being okay. I'm sorry about my arms. I always covered the scars with heavy makeup. I'm sorry for all trouble I've caused you.
Izuku, please, just remember, even though I'm not here anymore, that I've always going to love you. It doesn't matter if I'm here with you or not.
Please, please don't let this drag you down. It shouldn't. If anything you should be relieved. I didn't deserve someone like you. I never did, and never will. You're too good for this world. You're so happy. So kind. So loving to everyone you meet.
And me? I'm not happy. Not kind. Not loving. Not the right person for you to be with. Don't dwell on me. You can move on to someone else. Someone better than me.
That's really all I've got to say. I don't have anyone else I'll dearly miss like you. No one was there for me like you where.
-Shoto Todoroki. ♡

...

I quickly rush into the lunchroom, everyone is having a nice time.
Oh, how I wish I was having a nice time too.
I quickly go up to the breakfast buffet and grab a little piece of toast, and start to quickly walk out, before anyone notices me. They do this buffet as a special on Sunday.

I'm almost out now when I feel a hand touch my shoulder.
"This better be-" I whip around to see Sero's worried frown.

"Is he okay?" He looked down.

"I think. Recovery girl has him in her office." His expression didn't change at all.

"Okay. That's good. And, I know you probably don't really like me that much but..keep me updated with how he's doing?"

"Okay, I will. And for the record, I do like you. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself."

–––

"One small piece of toast?"

"Yeah. I'm not too hungry right now."

"Well, you still should eat. You're a growing boy."

"Mm.."

I'm still sitting by Todoroki's bed.
Recovery girl said he's going to be alright, he just had lots of healing so he's tired.

"When will he wake up?"

"Soon."

"Okay."

"But our work isn't done."

"What?"

"He tried to take his life, and definitely would have succeeded if you hadn't done anything. He's not going to class for a bit of course, and there is no way I'm leaving him alone in his dorm.
You and Sero are the only students who know about this, and you are obviously closer to Todoroki." She turned around to face me. "So I am going to let you two skip school for a week or two. But, you have to watch him at all times, not let him go anywhere alone, and you should talk to him about this mess too. And if anything happens to go wrong, my office will always be unlocked. Got that?"

"Yes, ma'am. I've got that."

"Alright. I have other things to do right now, with his whole situation, I'm highly considering therapy. This whole situation is complicated. When he wakes up you have my permission to take him up to YOUR dorm. Don't let him back in his till I give you the word."

"Okay. Thank you."

She jumped off her chair and made her way out the door. "Come down to see me with him later, too."
I turn my attention back to Todoroki. He's still sleeping.

I don't want to wake him up, but I want to talk to him about all this.
Why he hid it from me, he knows he can trust me.
I don't want him to feel worse but, I'm upset with him.
Did he really think this wouldn't hurt me? Does he really view himself that badly?

Its been a while now. He should be awake now. He rustled a few times, tossed a few times, but I never saw him open his eyes at all.
I should wake him up.

I stood up and walked forward a small bit,
He stiffened.

"Shoto. Are you up yet? You should be awake by now," No response. "Shoto? Sho? Please wake up. It's important."
...
"Please Sho, I know you're awake, even I didn't sleep this long when I was badly injured."
After this, he let out a long sigh and opened one of his eyes.

"Oh Shoto," I bent down to his level and kissed his forehead about a millon times.
He started to cry too.

"Oh Izuku, I'm sorry Izuku, you didn't deserve this, I don't deserve you."

"Shoto, I'm, I'm just so happy your alive.." He didn't respond to this, and I didn't expect him to anyway. "We've got to go now, recovery girl said as soon as you woke up that I needed to take you to my room." I started to take the blanket off him so I could help him up.
When I started to pull it down he yanked it back up,

"Sho.." He didn't meet my gaze.
Oh.
He probably has scars on his arms. Like the ones I have on my hand.
"Here," good thing I decided to wear the flannel he gave me. "You can wear this to cover up if you want. I won't look." I handed him the flannel and turned around.
I heard him shuffle. "You can turn around now..." Oh, this poor boy. His voice is so scratchy and strained. It hurts me a little bit to listen to him even.

"Okay." I offered him my hand, and he took it, and with my help, I got him up on his feet.
I let go of his hand and tried to link our arms so that he wouldn't have too much trouble.
He looked scared for a second and looked up at me cautiously, but he obliged.