Not just a game (straubee)

Chapter 21: pain demands to be felt

Heyimstraub21

Straubs POV:

Kricken just told me that she saw Grape and Bee kissing. I just got over the Parker situation and now my heart broke into million pieces. Than I saw them walk in together. I understood that she didn't lie because I saw Bees worried face. I could feel my eyes tearing up.

Kricken went away when she saw Bee and I saw Bee walking towards me.

"Look, I am so sorry!" She said and tried holding my hand

Bees POV:

"We are going back to the hotel" he said angrily and walked out of the building towards the car and I followed him. I felt horrible for what I did. We drove back to the hotel and I tried talking to him;

"Look Mitchell I am so sorry, his girlfriend broke up with him and I just felt bad!"

"You don't go and make out with someone if you just feel bad!"

"I am so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking! I love you!"

I put my hand on his leg and he pulled it away.

"Mitchell, don't do this to me! Please! I love you!" I said crying and he didn't even look at me

"After this whole PAX thing, I question it, if you really do" he yelled and I could hear his voice crack

"I really do! I love you!"

"Stop, don't talk to me"

After he said that I started crying. A lot. I covered up my face and turned around. My sleeves were all wet. We arrived in the hotel and I ran out of the car fast and ran in the hotel. I opened the door and entered the bathroom. I screamed hoping that nobody would hear and I was standing and facing the mirror. I got my make up pencil sharpener and got out the blade. I put it on my wrist.

I thought about Straub. How much fun we had, how we kissed and hugged me. How he almost killed Parker when he kissed me. How much Mitchell loved me and how I ruined it. How I just hurt him so much. I slid the blade and I saw blood dripping in the sink. I cried out because of the pain. I heard the door open, that was Mitchell. I heard him sob and I felt even worse. I put the blade on my other wrist and pushed it in. I tried so hard not to scream. The whole sink was covered in blood. I stopped, cleaned the blood, pulled my sleeves down and walked out of the bathroom.

Mitchell looked at me and I saw that his eyes were red. We were looking at each other and he couldn't take it and ran to the bathroom.

Straubs POV:

I felt like I was going to scream and tears would run down my face. I didn't want Bee to see me cry and I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. When I walked in I saw a blade covered in blood on the floor. I knew what she did and why she screamed. I felt horrible and I just wanted to die. To end everything. I got the blade up. Tears rolled down my cheeks, this is one of the very few times when I felt so horrible and cried so much. I put the blade on my wrist and pushed it in. It was one of the worst pains I have ever felt.

In 5 minutes my whole wrist was bleeding. I washed it with water, threw the blade out, pulled my sleeves, wiped my face and went out. I sat on the bed facing a different direction and I could hear Bee sob. I remembered that blade on the floor, the pain I felt and I thought how she felt the same thing.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to end this. I squeezed my hand together and I could feel my finger nails going into my skin.

Bees POV:

I was still crying and I saw Mitchell walk out of the bathroom.

I remembered all the memories we had and how I just ruined it all. Somewhere deep inside, I knew how much I loved him. More than any one else in the world. I closed my eyes and tried falling asleep. I kept thinking about how he would've felt. It will be okay, everything will go back to normal. I tried calming myself down and I fell asleep slowly.

Straubs POV:

I felt horrible. Most depressed as I've ever was. I tried remembering all the fun memories we had. I tried falling asleep. In 10 minutes I felt myself doing to sleep.

In the middle of the night I woke up because I heard Bee scream. I jumped out of the bed and walked to her side. She was covered in cold sweat and her eyes were wide open, her face covered in tears.

"Mitchell, are you here?" She was saying and her voice was trembling.

"I am always here for you" I was whispering to her and hugged her. "It will be okay" I whispered. I loved her no matter what she did. She fell back asleep with her head on my shoulder and I put her back on the pillow. I took her hand, and pulled up the sleeve. Her whole wrist was covered in scars and dry blood. I took a tissue, wiped it and kissed her wrist and went back to sleep, hugging her from behind.