the hamptons | t.chalamet

05

"morning care bear." matt beams at me when i finally trudge into the kitchen.

"cutting it real close today." he says and quickly slides me some toast and a glass of water.

i shrug and climb onto the high seat at the breakfast bar. my head hurts almost as much as my tailbone does and it takes me a second to find a position that doesn't make me want to cry.

"eat up. you're gonna be late." he says and taps the counter to get my attention again.

silently, i pick up the bread and physically swallow to keep from throwing up at the smell. i have zero appetite this morning and despite having not eaten since yesterday's lunch, my stomach feels more bloated than ever.

the events of last night took a harder toll on me than i thought they would've and i was, to say the least, surprised when i woke up with all motivation and will drained.

it's been so long since i've felt this low that i think i might've crashed even harder just because everything has been so good recently.

until last night.

i manage to nibble on the crust and clench my abs hard enough to contain my urge to vomit.

matt stops washing the dishes and stares at me.

"caerus?" the easily detectable worry in his voice makes me realize i should be more cautious.

but i barely even have the strength to hold my head up so putting on an act seems like a marathon.

i look up and pathetically plaster on a smile. "hm?"

he frowns. "you feeling okay?"

add another dollar to my evergrowing bank.

i nod. "just tired. yesterday was a late one." i say robotically.

i can tell he doesn't buy it. especially since terrence brought me home before 11:30 which isn't even close to a late one.

"you sure?"

if he doesn't believe my facade in the next thirty seconds, i'm going to be packing my bag for another rehab session.

so i take a subtle breath and then chomp off a good portion of toast just to show him. it nearly comes right back out until i swallow it and then wash it down with water.

"yeah i'm fine. mondays." i joke weakly and even laugh a little.

just that bit makes me tired.

i can tell he still isn't fully convinced but considering i have less than five minutes to get going, matt drops it.

"sure. well, come home right after school and we can watch a movie. i'm picking up willow tonight and she's been begging me to invite you back." he says while climbing onto the steps to get my meds.

it takes me a second to remember willow is matt's five year old daughter. willow is the most adorable little girl in the world and i adore her presence.

but today is just not the day.

"ok. sounds fun." i have half the brain to actually respond.

matt returns and opens up the monday compartment with an orange tic tac alongside the prozac inside. when he narrows his eyes at me, i know i've said the wrong thing.

"caerus-" he gets cut off when terrence's loud voice booms through the intercom.

"caerus, if you're not in the car in the next minute and a half, you're going to be late for school."

i grab the prozac out of the 'Mon' compartment and swallow it dry before hopping off the stool.

"see you later." i say to matt and attempt another smile while quickly walking out of the kitchen towards the front door and away from his stare.

i don't wait to see if he'll call for me when i grab my bag off the hook and slide my feet into a pair of flats.

"take your meds?" terrence asks bluntly as i'm heading outside to the car.

i nod plainly without caring how annoying that is even if terrence's bluntness is something i appreciate more than when people tip toe on egg shells around me.

only when i'm stepping into the passenger seat does it dawn on me how badly i fucked up.

matt doesn't like to report my every move to father. he's even kept a bunch of my secrets, really bad ones too.

but today, i know for sure he'll have no choice.

i wasn't careful enough. i couldn't fake it long enough until i left the house.

i wonder which institution father will have in mind tonight when my presence is requested.

and all because i forgot to take the damm tic tac surprise next to my pill.

~•~

author's note.
looooong overdue but i completely lost motivation for this since i'd written myself into a ditch plus timmy is going back into hibernation so that doesn't help :(
lol hope you enjoy this mediocre update