MRS. COLLINS

4. i mean it

I admire Victor's handsome face as he sleeps. He has a really great couch so we both fit in just perfectly. I don't even remember falling asleep. I check my watch. It's past midnight. So much for not having a lot of time. I really need to get going. As angry as I am at Nick, I know I can't just not spend the night in his house. There's too many people that will notice. I press my lips against Victor's cheek. "I'm leaving." I whisper.

He opens his eyes and nods. "Okay, be careful. Let me know when you get home."

I smile because I know I'm going to forget like I always do. His hand brushes against my back as he lets me go from his arms. My body suddenly feels cold without him. I wish I could stay but I know I can't. I put on my skirt and button my blouse then grab my purse and head towards the door.

"Hey, Rachel?" Victor calls behind me, his voice a little hoarse. I turn to look at him. He's sitting down now looking at me with that intense look of his. "I meant it. I do love you."

I smile then it fades a little. "I'm sorry I-" I want to tell him that I don't feel ready to say it back to him but he interrupts me.

"I know. You don't have to say it back. I just want you to know."

I love that he gets me. I smile then cross the room and lean in to kiss him. "I'll see you in a few hours."

"Can't wait," He says against my lips.

I pull away then get out of the room before I let him take off my clothes again. I hurry to my car then drive home.

It's hard to think of Nicholas' parent's house as a home. Before we even got married, I already knew I was going to be living there. It's sort of weird for Nick to still live under the same roof as his parents considering he's a grown man. His older brother, Colton, and his younger sister, Hannah, also live there. I didn't understand why until I met Christina, their mother. She's very controlling. I can totally see her guilting everyone into staying with her. I know Nick loves her, as he should, but sometimes I wish he would become his own person. Move out. I definitely do wish we lived alone because then I wouldn't have to worry about pretending for everyone else. Especially on days like today.

I wonder if Nick is asleep. I hope so. I'm exhausted. I just want to shower and sleep for a day. But knowing Nick, I know there's a really big chance he's waiting for me and we have work tomorrow. I guess it's better for us to talk now before the morning when we have to go back to pretending to be the happiest couple in the world.

I take off my heels before walking in the house. The house is always guarded with bodyguards so it's not that I'm trying to sneak in without anyone seeing me. I just don't want to wake anybody up. The house is pretty big which is nice considering there are six adults living here. Our room is on the other side from Nick's parent's room which I appreciate. I don't need Christina on the other side of the wall listening to all of our conversations. I can see light coming from the edges of the bedroom door and I brace myself before opening it.

I find Nick on the couch with yet another drink in his hand. I suddenly remember the way he reacted earlier today. Maybe it's not a good idea to be alone with him tonight but where else would I go?

"I've been waiting for you," he says as I close the door behind me.

"I figured you would." I turn around and face him. He stands up and I realize he's still wearing the suit from earlier today. His tie is off and his shirt is unbuttoned. He looks as exhausted as I feel. Why can't we just call it a day? We both just want to sleep.

"And you didn't care." He looks at me with amusement in his eyes. Though I know it's not because he thinks it's funny. He's insulted.

I set my purse down and sigh. "I would be lying if I said I was dying to come home."