The Disguise: A Drarry Angst Crack Fic

The Story

One day Draco Malfoy was walking along in Diagon Alley. However, he was in disguise. It was the month before school started, and Draco (or Big D, as he preferred to be called by his closest companions) had something to do. Every year in the 30 days before the very first day of school, Big D would waltz into the very worst but most expensive hairdresser that could be found in Diagon Alley and have his hair bleached.

Now, the reason Big D was in disguise is because no one could possibly be allowed to see him with his natural hair colour. Of course BLEACH FRICKEN BLONDE is the best way to strike fear into the hearts of one's enemies. If anyone were to see him otherwise, it would ruin his image. Oh, and if the dreadful POTTER saw him, he would never hear the end of it.

Ah, Potter. That horrid boy in Draco's year. So popular and special in society's eyes. So kind. So smart. So talented. So friendly. So handsome...

No, Big D told himself. You must not think of your enemy in that way. And that's exactly what he is: the enemy. So why did Big D find himself thinking these thoughts about him? It simply wouldn't do for two boys from two starkly different family backgrounds to ever join in a bond. Especially if he opposed V-Boy, which was strictly against Lucius Malfoy's rules for Draco's intimate partners.

And there he was. As Big D made his way towards the hairdressers, he caught sight with his cold dead eyes of Harry Potter, the Chosen One, whose eyes were an incredibly delicious green. They were so different to Big D's. Very much alive, and very sexy...

Ah, back at it again, Big D! You must learn to -

"Hey."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Big D, for the greeter was none other than Potter himself.

Harry was taken aback by Malfoy's scream, for he had never heard such a weak and whimpish noise emit from the boy before. Though he could get used to it...

"Why are you dressed like that, you idiot?" Harry questioned as he folded his arms across his chest.

"O-on my way to the book store. What's it to you, Potter?" Big D spat.

Harry smirked and raised his eyebrows. He noticed droplets of sweat running down Big D's face, and saw his legs were shaking. Again, all things he could happily acquaint himself with. Slowly, he reached out his hand wiped one particularly large droplet of the Big D. He gasped.

"Oi, what are you playing at?" he screeched, counteracting his disguise.

Harry's hand lingered on Big D's face. The boy wasn't fighting it. He simply stood their, limp, and took it as it was. Gee golly, Big D sure did a lot of things that make want to take him even more. Suddenly, he snatched away the hood that was concealing Big D's hair.

To Harry's complete and utter surprise, he saw a big shock of purple hair. It stuck out in all directions. But that wasn't the only thing that had begun to stick out in all directions on Big D's body. I mean, they must call him Big D for a reason right? Both of these revelations delighted Harry immensely. So he said all he could muster at that moment.

"Rawr," he purred, as he made a cat-like motion in Big D's direction.

And in that purely sensual and romantic moment, Big D so desperately just wanted Harry Potter to glomp him. Hard.

"Please senpai...glomp me..." he whispered desperately in the Chosen One's ear.

"Of course I will," said an entirely new voice from behind Big D.

A large, soft prescience enveloped Big D. The man's arms wrapped around Big D's whole body, the hands as large as dustbin lids.

"Mmmmmm..." grumbled the half-giant.

"We've got him right where we want him, eh Hagrid?" Harry remarked.

The plan had worked.

Now it was time to go have some fun in the Hogwarts dungeon. And, upon Hagrid's request, every creature that lived under there was to be heavily featured...

THE END

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NOTES:

If you have requests for other crack fics I would be glad to give them a go ;))))) Also would anyone be interested in me continuing this story???