Upgraded Voices in my Head

Target assessable

"Just don't expect perfect results when I have barely anything to work with." He admonished while meeting Jeremy at the windowsill, reaching for the cat's fur coat before his host, baring a look of shook, smacked his hand away.

"Don't electrocute the cat, you heathen!"

Squip only tilted his head slightly, which Jeremy would have found charming, if not for the response the motion followed. "Why not? It reeks of french perfume, friskies, and..." He paused. "...candle wax?"

"Because it's, like, three steps away from kicking puppies. And, more importantly, Brooke would slaughter me if her cat came back with singed fur."

"What makes you think I'm above such an act? And put that bottle down, studies show giving a cat water results in it coming back the next day roughly 73% of the time."

"Oh, c'mon, who wouldn't want this little cutie around?" Playfully grinning, the boy ran a hand over its blue fur, accidentally grazing the lopsided party hat perched upon it's head and ignoring the Squip's less than impressed expression born out of viewing his host as far more adorable anyway (statistically speaking, of course). At least, compared to all the living creatures he'd seen so far (certainly more than the slob powering through Jeremy's various PC games and downing Mountain Dew downstairs). "Didn't you say you were nicer now, anyway?"

"I said," The Squip corrected, prompting an eye roll from Jeremy as he poured water into a bowl outside. "I was granted a base sense of morality. You assumed I was kind. I am many things, Jeremiah, but I am certainly no angel."

Clearly. "That's alright. I'm kinda trash too, so it's not like I can complain."

"I think that's the first intelligent comment you've made since you woke up this morning."

Jeremy ran a hand over his face while grabbing the outfit his Squip laid out for him last night and made his way to the door. "You know, degrading someone after they tell a lighthearted, self-deprecating joke isn't exactly the best way to get on someone's good side. You might wanna tone down the shit-talking when you meet my friends."

The computer simply nodded. "You make a valid point, Jeremy. It's a good thing I won't be talking to them."

Outstretched hand hovering over the handle, Jeremy halted before swerving around to shoot the man a puzzled look. "Uh, yes you are. You're sharing a brain with me. You're gonna end up around people at some point and the cat saw you so I know they'll see you too."

"If I let them, which I won't since remaining unknown could turn out to be beneficial to completing my objective."

"But you did complete your objective."

"And I am awaiting a new one, just like your friend is waiting for you to join him downstairs."

"Oh, shit, right! I'll be back in a few minutes." The gamer cried before throwing the door open and disappearing behind it, prompting his Squip to shift his attention to the computer to finish editing. He couldn't have a repeat of last night.

"You're not getting a new one, you know. An objective, I mean. I don't really need help with anything right now." The boy explained after coming out of the bathroom fully washed and dressed before tugging the Intel processor by the arm and guiding him through the hallway. "C'mon, let's go see who's downstairs."

"You needed my help last night." He countered. "And considering your attraction to Ms. Brooklyn," Jeremy froze in his tracks, only turning redder as his Squip continued. "Along with my earlier version's relegation to the role of matchmaker, the goal of pairing you two together is already a probable option, unless you label some other task as a higher priority."

"Ha...how did...I-I thought I told you not to watch those memories!"

"I didn't." He reassured, earning a sigh of relief from the other. "The romantic tone and nature of the dream you had about her last night and the fact that, in only 43 minutes and 51.04 seconds, you've mentioned her by name twice clued me in."

"Fine, you caught me." He admitted, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall for support. "That doesn't mean you're getting me and Brooke together. She dumped me junior year. I honestly doubt she wants me back after..." He trailed off.

"You underestimate me, Jeremy. Even without my own human emotions, I possess a strong enough understanding of human interactions and relationships to set you up with anyone you have your eye on." Resisting the urge to point out that no, he didn't, Jeremy mulled the concept over in his head. The Squip could feel now, and wasn't too much of a tool. At least, not to him. Could he really trust the same technology that almost brainwashed his entire school with his love life though?

The answer was yes, apparently, since he instructed his Squip to set Brooke, as well as his other crushes, returning his feeling as the computer's goal while they strolled downstairs to greet their guest.