I'm not weak (Deanxreader)

Better times

A/n: Sorry if the chapters are short. I'm still trying to figure out how long I should make them. peace✌

"Where do you want to go y/n?" Cas asked you.

"Paris, France. I have a friend over there that I hope can help me." You said slinging your bag onto your shoulder.  Castiel's eyes widened in surprise.

"Why? Wouldn't it be better to go along with Garth? Or stay in America?" Cas asked.

"Because I want a fresh start, I want to work as hard as I can to make a name for myself. Not just Sam and Dean's pet. Hunters here don't even know my name! And why not go somewhere The Winchesters are not known that well?" You said. 

Castiel thought for a moment. "Where does this friend of yours live specifically?" Castiel asked. You smiled and told Cas everything about Andy. Andy had always been a close and good friend. You and Andy grew up together and learned how to shoot a gun before riding a bike. He has bright hazel eyes, he was a little taller than Dean and has curly, short, black hair. You had to admit, he was pretty handsome. You did everything together, he was your partner in crime. You parted ways when you met the Winchesters and he was needed in France five years ago. You just hope he's okay with you meeting up with him after so long You guys have always kept in touch ever since.

"Wait! Cas...promise me something." You said before he put two fingers on your forehead 

"What is it y/n?" Castiel asked.

"Please don't tell Sam and Dean where I've gone at all, okay? And don't tell them I've left, not yet" You asked the angel.

"Okay... but I don't think they will be very happy about it." Castiel said with a sigh. I smiled and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He blushed lightly and cleared his throat.

You turned around and grabbed a pen and paper, you quickly wrote a note for Sam and Dean explaining your disappearance. You were afraid to leave them, but you knew it was for the best. One more fight with Dean and someone would be getting hurt...worse than what you felt now. You needed to close your heart, it's been broken way too many times to count, but you've never learned. But that changes now, you'll put up as many walls as it takes. You just hoped they'd understand, and not track you down. You left your phone on your desk, knowing that Sam would track you down with it.

'That damn nerd' you thought, smiling.

You left a bracelet you made next to the note, wanting them to have a little piece of yourself. You made Sam, Dean, and Cas similar ones that you made for them as a joke, putting marshmallow for Sam's, teddy bear for Dean's. And angel for Castiel's on them, nicknames you've given them. No explanation for Cas's nickname, it was pretty obvious, though you wanted to remind him that no matter what, he is a nice person trying to do good. You called Dean teddy bear because of how tough he makes himself look but was sweet once you got to know him. And you called Sam marshmallow because he was a big, sweet, and caring softie. They refused to get rid of it and wore it all the time. 

~Flashback~

You were all in the war room of the bunker, Sam had his nose buried in a book, Dean watching who knows what on his laptop, and you finishing of the bracelets you made for them. All you really needed to do was burn the ends of the string, so it wouldn't fall apart. But you being the wonderfully agile and careful human being you are, burned your finger with your lighter. 

"Ow!" You yelped, dropping the lighter and looking at your finger. Both Sam and Dean's head shot up quickly at the sound of your yelp.

"What happened?"
"Are you okay?"
"What did you do?"
"How did you get hurt?"
"Do we need to call Cas?"