Something Else Entirely

41 - This is all my fucking fault.

Red and blue flashing lights had always meant that I, or someone around me that I knew, was in deep shit with the cops. Even back then when we likely deserved whatever was coming to us, red and blue flashing lights never meant that my whole world was disintegrating around me.

But it did now.

Seeing Sadie hoisted onto a gurney by the paramedics, blood staining her dark teal dress while Madden clung onto Dad, both of them crying hysterically as they followed behind her and the paramedics, was beyond my emotional capacity to deal with.

Dad, trying to put Madden down and peel his arms away from him long enough to follow Sadie into the ambulance said, "I need you to stay with Jetty. He'll drive you down as soon as he can, buddy. I won't leave her side, I promise. It's going to be okay."

He kissed Madden on the forehead and pushed him gently towards me, grabbing a strong hold of my shoulders and kissing me with trembling lips before he let us both go, leaving me in charge of Madden. "Love you, boys."

He rushed to climb into the back of the ambulance and the paramedic shut the door behind him, driving my mother and father away as I tried my best to console my brother who was terrified and crying into my stomach, even more so once the ambulance started pulling away.

Everyone else from the party was assembled and standing around me, watching the ambulance round the corner. I knew all eyes were on me, but I couldn't bring myself to face and meet them. My shame at having been responsible for this whole situation, simply by being related to Axel and Kora Wesley, was eating me apart.

I smelled Logan next to me before I saw her, my eyes being closed as I breathed deeply, trying to just wish myself anywhere but here and erase the last hour of my life. When everything turned to shit and the blissful completeness of my life was lost forever.

"Jet?" Logan said, urging me to open my eyes, her hand reaching to caress my forearm which was fixed and immovable around Madden's shoulders. "Baby?" she persisted when I didn't answer or look at her. I couldn't. Sadie is the only one who calls me 'baby,' and this stinging reminder of her just twisted the knife in my gut even further, resulting in me pulling Madden in tighter underneath me.

"Alright, ladies and gents!" said Tanner loudly, organising everyone around me to go home. "We all love you for being here, but we need to call it a night."

All around me, people were offering well wishes and every support they could think of, asking if we needed them to do anything. I couldn't answer any of them, still suffering from the shock and shame of this evening. So, Landon took over, ensuring everyone that we would tell them more as soon as we heard something, in a quiet and uncertain voice that was very unlike the one I knew belonging to one of Sadie's best friends.

Morgan was the one who again convinced me I needed to get my shit together for my family, walking to stand next to Logan and holding my cheek still until I looked at her as she spoke.

"You need to get to the hospital, Jetty. Sade and Ruben will need you both there with them. Take Madd and we'll come meet you there when we've got everyone home and packed all this up. These are your dad's keys. Take his truck."

Her hands were shaking against my face and when she handed me Dad's keys after I assured her at least five times that I hadn't had anything to drink tonight. It unsettled me even more that she was shaking, because even though she sounded composed when she spoke, her hands gave her waning confidence away and confirmed that she was just as scared as I felt. "We'll be there soon, okay?" she said, trying her best to offer a comforting smile. It didn't work.

Once Madden heard that we were going to the hospital, he couldn't drag me to Dad's car any quicker if he tried. Logan quickly handed Willow—who she had still been holding—over to Tanner's mum and she followed us to the car, getting in the back behind me in the driver's seat and resting her hand on my shoulder the whole time I drove us to the hospital.