Liam's entire world seemed to have broken down in a matter of minutes. And he didn't know why it felt that way, but as he carried a practically dying body to his house, he couldn't help but feel as if everything was just falling apart.
As Liam broke through into his house and his father saw him, breathing hard and holding his friend in his arms with a look of complete desperation, Liam didn't really have to say anything for him to call for help. And Liam just waited there with his friend in his arms, he just waited.
This just...wasn't fair. Why wasn't it fair to him? Wouldn't it be unfair to his friend in his arms? Unfair to die, unfair to just leave the world as a teenager, never experiencing...anything?
Liam couldn't help but feel like he was being attacked, but he wasn't. At least, not by his own mind. The body in his arms had been attacked by its own thoughts, its own ideas and feelings and urges. Was it Liam's fault? Did Liam let this happen?
He did. Liam should've been with his friend. He should've gotten to the house sooner. He should've been there. But now he brought back a body instead of his guitar and possibly a person he wanted to spend more time with. But he was left with this. This pain.
An ambulance took him with the body. They asked him what happened, and Liam could only tell them that he didn't know, because he didn't. Whatever his friend had done to become nearly lifeless and limp, he couldn't ever guess. All he knew that they were battling themselves, and that just wasn't...fair. To say it wasn't right didn't seem accurate. It wasn't fair to them. To the world. To Liam.
It was his fault, it was. It had to be. If not his, then who? Someone had to be blamed, something had to be in the wrong. But saying his friend's mind was to blame was saying that they, as a person, were to blame. And that wasn't right, was it? Was that to blame?
No, not the mind. The mind was not to blame. Something else. Someone else.
And the only person he could find to blame was himself. Liam kept blaming himself, even after he was pushed out, even after he was told to go away. He blamed himself for letting them fall deep into whatever he had started, to let them just become part of Liam's life. That was his fault. That was all his doing. That's was why he was to blame. He made them skip class, he made them come to his house. He ruined their life in less than two weeks. He caused all of this.
It was all his fault.
It was all
his
fault.
