To be a Commander

Memories

Sitting alone in his tent, Halt took time to think back. To a happy age when Crowley was still alive and his best friend.

He remembered the small things. How Crowley could somehow remember so many details-but never the big picture. Their friendly banter. Crowley teasing him. Fiery hazel eyes. Scars on his arm that Crowley never talked about. Smiles, of all shapes and sizes. A silver oakleaf.

Then there were the bad memories. Things that Halt regretted.

Crowley's past. The redheaded Commandant never talked about it, but judging by his scars, Halt thought he knew. He never pressed it, of course. But sometimes he regretted ever having known.

There was that one time when Crowley was captured by some of Morgarath's toadies. Being Crowley, he'd given himself up voluntarily, if only to keep the Corps safe. As a last order, he'd told the Rangers not to try and rescue him.

For two months, Halt tried to obey. To stay away from Crowley. Eventually, though, he and the other Rangers gave in and launched a rescue mission. When Halt had found Crowley, the Commandant was all but dead. Covered in various wounds and barely breathing, Halt had been terrified for his friend.

Crowley had pulled through and gradually became his old self, but there was always one thing that was missing. The Corps Commandant was never the same after that. And Halt would always despise himself for not rescuing Crowley sooner, despite the redhead's firm affirmations that it wasn't his fault.

During Halt's wedding, as he and Pauline danced together, Halt caught Crowley's eye. The hazel was bright, but clouded somehow and Halt knew that Crowley had liked Pauline. It was a sad moment, to see his best friend grieving. But he was thankful. He was quite lucky to have been friends with Crowley.

Did he regret all that had happened? No. 

And as he settled onto his bedroll and stared upwards, towards the ceiling, he remembered what Crowley had written. Say hello to the stars for me, he'd said.

Halt shifted slightly and, for the first time in months, let a smile slip onto his face.

"Crowley says hello." he said softly. Then he rolled over and went to sleep.