Everyday Life

He Shouldn't Feel That Way

Johnny slept on the couch while Malissa slept on the arm chair. It might not have been the most comfortable, but she leaned to deal with it.

She woke up when she heard moving. She opened her eyes, expecting there to be sunlight shining through the curtains. Instead it was still dark outside. She heard the front door shut quietly. She looked around and seen that Johnny was gone.

Malissa stood up and ran a hand through her long, dark brown, almost black, hair. She had her Dad's hair. But she had eyes like her Mom's and Johnny's.

She walked outside and seen Johnny sitting on the swing smoking. "Why are you smoking so late at night?" She was still groggy since she hadn't gotten much sleep.

"I had a bad dream. Smoking calms me down," He stated, taking a puff of his cigarette. Malissa nodded and sat down beside him.

"What was it about?"

"Nothing. I don't remember," He said quickly, sounding angry. He wasn't even looking at her. He was staring out at the street, looking at some of the houses.

"You okay? Is something bothering you?" She looked down and seen that his hand was shaking.

"I'm fine, okay. Just drop it." He snapped and finally turned to look at her. He seen the sadness in his sisters eyes. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I shouldn't even be mad. It was just a dream." He mumbled his last sentence, hoping Malissa wouldn't here.

But in a way, he has reasons to be angry. To be jealous. Malissa was the favorite child. She got treated better than Johnny. It's bad enough that he has to be reminded that during the day. It's even worse when he gets reminded of that in his dreams.

"It's okay. Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to if you don't want to. I just figured it would make you feel better."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe tomorrow."

Malissa nodded and stood up. She walked to the door and looked back at Johnny who was still sitting on the swing. "You coming?"

Johnny looked up at her. "Yeah, in a minute."

Malissa nodded and went inside. She sat back down in the arm chair and slowly fell asleep.

...

The next time she woke it was morning. She could here someone moving around in the kitchen and could smell bacon. Johnny was curled up in a ball on the couch. She smiled at the sight of him. He always looks peaceful when he sleeps. He looks younger.

She couldn't help but think of last night. How he seemed mad. How he had snapped at her. She wished she knew what was wrong with him. She wished she could help him.

Johnny stirred in his sleep and slowly opened his eyes. Malissa smiled at him and went into the kitchen. Johnny sat up and rubbed his eyes. That dream had gotten to him. He's never mad at his sister. He knows that she loves him. That she would do anything for him. But occasionally, when he has a dream like he had last night, he gets mad, jealous.

He knew he shouldn't feel like that. But it's hard when he can tell the difference in how they get treated. He hates the way they get treated. Even Malissa gets treated badly sometimes. She gets yelled at. Once or twice they've thrown things at her. When that happens Johnny has to get her out of the house. She knows when to leave, but sometimes Johnny thinks she gets shocked and freezes up. She's not as used to it as he is. He knows to run when he gets the chance, not just stand there.

He stood up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. He didn't want to tell Malissa what's bothering him. But he knew he needed to tell someone. And he knew exactly who he was going to tell. Ponyboy.