May 5, 2014

33.

Chris

Truthfully, I hope India not pregnant. Yeah, I know what sex leads to, yeah I know what unprotected sex leads to and hell yeah, I know what nutting inside a female would do. I'm just not ready. I've raised a child before— hint; Royalty. I'm just not financially ready. I'm not where I'd like to be in life.

I would love for India to have my babies, but I imagined it being sometime far in the future. When Royalty is about 10 or 11, when I move out of that same townhouse I've been occupying for years, when I'm not still working at one of the many warehouses in Virginia. Just not right now.

I wouldn't be mad at India if I was, because I know it's majority my fault. I don't know how I'd react honestly.

On the brighter side of things, my baby and I's birthday is tomorrow. I'm grateful that I've gotten to see her blossom into this beautiful almost 5 year old. She looks just like me— with a hint of Sabrina. Speaking of her, I haven't heard from her or seen her in the past few weeks since she got her ass beat. India hasn't reported her slashing her tires or harassing her, so I think that ass beating that Lauren handed to her was what she needed.

"Daddy, our birthday is tomorrow!" Royalty excitedly said while I got ready for work.

"I know, baby. My big girl gonna be 5." I smiled

"And, how old are you gonna be?" She asked

"Very old. Tomorrow my hair is gonna turn grey and I'm gonna be walking on a cane, daddy will turn into an old man tomorrow." I joked

"Ew.."  She giggled and ran out of the room.

My princess.

India

"Take the test, India." Lauren said and stood at my room door

"I still haven't gotten any symptoms, so I don't wanna take it." I said

"Here you go being stubborn and stupid, no symptoms doesn't mean anything." She explained

"Please?" Lauren pleaded

I sighed, "Fine, but I'm telling you I'm not."  I said and took the pregnancy test out of her hand and walked to the bathroom.

"I'll be waiting out here." She said as I closed the door

"Yeah, yeah.." I said

I read the back of the box for reassurance.

I sighed, I was kind of nervous. I did what the box directed, or what any test would direct.

I sat it on a piece of tissue and read the back of some air freshener while I waited the three minutes.

"What does it say?" Lauren asked, through the door

"Hold on, doctor." I said and put the air freshener down. I know it's now over 3 minutes but I'm just stalling so I won't have to look at it.

"Do you want me to look at it, girl?" She said

"No! I got it." I said and finally walked to it.

I picked it up, "See, I told you I'm... pregnant." I said, more like a mumble.

She burst into the bathroom, "Let me see!" She said and snatched it from my hand.

"I'm so happy for you!" She squealed

"No.. I can't be, where's the other pregnancy test? You bought two right?" I asked

"Yeah, it's in here." She said and opened the cabinet.

I ripped it open and did what I did to the first one.

After the three minute mark I looked at it.