Somewhere Over the Rainbow [JENLISA]

35. Unpleasant Deal

Lisa's POV

After we hiked and filming this trip, we went back to the rest house. I told Jennie that we will flight to Seoul tomorrow and she said that it's fine.

I already told Joy, that we will leave early so I settled the payments. Jennie insisted to pay but no. I am not dumb to let her. I planned this trip so it's all on me.

"Cheers." I raised the can then bumped it slightly to Jennie's.

"Cheers." She responded with a smile and we both drank these alcoholic beverages.

It's already evening and our last night here in this paradise. We're sitting in the grass.

"Lisa, thank you."

"For this drink?"

"No. For this trip." She held my hand.

I smiled as an answer. "I should be the one thanking you. You gave me another memory to treasure." I drank again then lie down.

I pulled her also so her head is resting on my chest.

"I can hear your heart, beating fast and loud."

"It's because you're with me. It's always like that when I am with you, I wonder when will it stop."

She sat down and slapped my arm. " What are you saying?"

"When will I die? When this happiness ends? When will I forget everything? When will this joy and sorrow stop?" I said and held her hands.

"You know, my lost will hurt you. My disease will hurt you. My questions will hurt you. My love can also hurt you when the time comes." I said then sat down.

I saw her crying again. "See? Even my thoughts now can hurt you."

I hugged her side. "How can I move and live or even die without hurting you?" I kissed her cheek.

"How can I say that you need to forget me when I start to forget you? I want all of it to be fair but no one is working." I closed my eyes, hearing her sobs.

"How can I end everything without knowing the fact that you might get hurt?" I hugged her tight.

I stood up after that and took a few steps away from Jennie. "Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!" I shouted.

"WHY IT HAS TO BE ME?!"

"WHY DID I DO WRONG FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THIS?!"

"DO I REALLY DESERVE THIS? IF YES, WHAT ABOUT THEM? WHAT ABOUT MY MOM AND DAD?! WHAT ABOUT JENNIE?! DO THEY DESERVE THIS?!" I shouted so loud as I can! I can't take this heavy thing inside me.

I started crying and my tears falling down.

"This woman! My parents! I don't wanna leave them." My voice is already broke.

"All I did is to consider all the people around me. I did what I need to do. I followed my dreams but why?!"

"Why it has to be me? I...."

"I am afraid....." I kneeled down. "I..... I want everything to be fine.... is it that really hard to give?"

Yes. I am questioning everything. I know it's wrong but I can't help it. I want some answers on my questions. My mind is about to explode anytime because of thoughts.