High school life

World's a confusing place

   New year, new goals, new pathways, more questions.

So yeah, I successfully passed in 2019 just like other people, but my 2018 was quite a... Let's say a mixed up story full of tears.
Things just feel like they are getting stable right now but... My feelings and dreams are making me more confused than ever.
I feel a bit detached from my boyfriend but, that's what happens when you leave him have his own time? I guess that's just a normal part from a relationship.
But my dreams! Lately my past has been chasing me down, my crush is showing in my dreams and getting me, and I just can't resist and give in to him. He's tall, has dark hair and brown eyes, I've been knowing him for 8 years. He hated me, but I loved him, and I even made a fool of myself just to get his attention and affection in the past. Now we both have our lives and lovers. But why do I dream him? Why is he flirting with me? And why am I so amazed by him?! And why I want to talk to him!? I just want him out of my head, but he slowly returns and just turns me upside down.
Either way, I'm planning on being prepared to be 18. It's gonna be a long way, but with sugar plum's words, advice and my friends believing in me, I think I can handle things.
Lately I grew super attached to a friend. He's nerdy and sweet and been there for me and advised me well, but also believed in me. He works hard, he's independent but he also is his own true pure self and I really admire him for that. Sometimes I feel like I'll never be as great as him, but then again, I must follow my own path and see where that will take me. Maybe one day, I could surprise him, and other friends, and just show my love and gratitude towards them in real life.
When I have free time, I lurk around and check on them, but sometimes I feel too bothersome and I get down because of that thought and I keep it all in. But as crazy as it sounds, a simple word from them and I feel better in an instant moment.
I'm pretty much the type of person that depends on other people.

And now that I layed things off my chest, I gotta say that I love my highschool years.
I have my lovely girl trio, formed from my greatest friends, Camelia and Gabriela. They make my school days the best, they are kind, helpful, funny and honest and understand and appreciate my weirdness. They were pretty much my base high school friends since 10th grade, and I think that they'll be my friends for life.
I have plans for this summer/spring, such as East European Comic Con, my 18th birthday and The Untold Festival.

I guess... That's pretty much what I had to say at the moment. Nothing much happened today, but I surely had a good laugh.

28th of January 2019