Ever After

Is It That Bad?

"Are you going to tell me what's up with you and James, yet?" Ethan asked.

It was the next day. Grayson was still moping around the house, not really saying or doing much which wasn't normal for him. Most of the time the two got into arguments because Grayson was just that annoying.

He hadn't been annoying since the party though. It was throwing everyone off their game. James was mad, Emma had James' back and Ethan, of course, had Grayson's, but this was beginning to become bigger than all of them.

The fans were noticing. Multiple comments had already been made about James not finding Grayson's Santa joke funny. People were sending hate to both James, for apparently not being able to accept Grayson for being straight, and to Grayson, for not being able to be comfortable around gay men.

Ethan knew both of these assumptions weren't true. Neither cared who the other liked to sleep with. Neither of them ever had. It was just taxing to have to sort through all the hate over something that should have been a small argument.

A small argument. Maybe a few hours tops. This was why Ethan couldn't believe his brother. It didn't make sense. Fighting for days over a video. That wasn't Grayson.

Grayson looked up from his phone and over to his twin, who was standing three feet from where Grayson was on the couch, with his arms crossed.

Immediately the younger rolled his eyes. He knew what was coming; another lecture. Why couldn't Ethan just leave him alone? He was working through it in his own way.

"I told you already." Grayson mumbled, looking back to his phone. Right now he was on instagram, James had posted a photo and he was contemplating on whether or not he should like it.

Ethan scoffed a little. "Video ideas?" He spat. "Dude, no one fights like that over video ideas. What's really going on?" Ethan was sick of Grayson hiding things from him.

They were partners in crime, two sides of the same coin, best friend's since birth. He wanted to know what was wrong with his brother. He wanted to help.

Grayson sighed and dropped his phone onto his stomach. "Nothing, Ethan, I told you. I suggested we give gifts to one another as part of this christmas special or whatever we're doing and he got mad, saying he suggested the same thing a week ago and we got into an argument. Why is that hard for you to understand?"

Ethan couldn't take the lying anymore. Grayson should know James confided in Emma yesterday. It was obvious he was going to when he asked her to hang out.

The older shook his head. "Yeah, well, James told Emma you guys were fighting over something he posted on snapchat. So, I'm going to ask you again bro, what's really going on?"

Grayson wasn't expecting that. Of course they wouldn't say the same thing, they hadn't talked about fabricating a story. Mostly cause Grayson wouldn't talk to James..

He couldn't find his words. This, apparently, was messing with James too. Enough for him to complain about Grayson to someone else. "What else did he say?"

Ethan raised his eyebrows. "Really?" He said dully. He could tell Grayson wasn't going to give. He wasn't going to tell him what was wrong.

"Um," Ethan sighed, trying to remember everything Emma had said. "Something like you were blaming it all on him. Look, I don't really know. I do know he's sick of fighting with you. He told Emma you guys didn't have to be friends. You better get it together before he decides he's done with you."

Ethan turned to leave the room while Grayson stared at the floor. James was thinking about not being friends anymore? Okay.. maybe Grayson was being a little too rude or harsh when James was around. Grayson didn't want to hurt the other, he was just going through a lot.

"Oh, and Gray," Ethan stopped at the door, turning to look at his brother one last time. "You made him cry yesterday." He winked at his brother and continued his walk out of the living room.

Grayson frowned, pushing his eyebrows together. Cry? James was crying? Over Grayson?

Now that he thought about it, they were really close before the party. There was no doubt that Grayson missed James, but he didn't like the way his mind worked when he was around him anymore.

Grayson didn't, he couldn't, like James. It would mess everything up. Their entire group dynamic would be thrown off.

Grayson also wasn't gay. He wasn't. He wasn't. He wasn't. He was ripping his hair out over these feelings. He was having a hard time believing that he didn't realize them until now.

If he was he should have known a while ago, right? But then again, the feeling he got when James privately messaged him for the first time had caught him off guard. He pushed it away though, that was nothing. Excitement. That's all it was.

Grayson rubbed his eyes, pushing his fists into them, trying to get the memory of James' naked body out of his head. The memory of waking up next to him and how relaxed he was until he remembered what happened. He was not supposed to be thinking about this right now.

"What the fuck?" He whispered to himself, his vision going blurry from the tears that welled up in his eyes. He didn't know who he was anymore. It was so stressful. He was tired. He didn't want to try and figure it out anymore.

He didn't want to lose James either, but if he didn't figure out who he was soon then that was exactly what was going to happen.

Grayson stood up from the couch, flinching when his phone fell from his stomach onto the floor. He picked it up, turning it over he unlocked it, seeing the picture of James he had been thinking about liking.

He decided not to. He cleared his apps and locked his phone again before starting the walk to his room. He had this sinking feeling in his gut. He couldn't lose James. He couldn't have him either though.

Grayson didn't know if he could handle being just friends anymore.

He knew he couldn't handle not being friends.

He groaned, slamming his door when he got to his room. He wasn't gay. He didn't like James. They were best friends who accidentally slept together.

No big deal, right? It was though. It had changed Grayson whether he wanted to admit it to not.

And he was pushing his best friend away. Letting it control him. He was starting to hate himself. Why couldn't he figure this out? Why did he keep pushing away the people that cared about him?

Why was he such an asshole?

—————————

ya girl got a job 😉

so i know i said updating might take a few days because of the service here and me getting settled, and i know you guys are gonna hate to hear this, but with me working i might only have time to update once a week.

of course i'm always going to be trying to update more than that but until i get my schedule and figure out my hours i'm not sure how much time i'm going to have to write.

ikik it's stupid but i'm literally 20 and like i need a job so i can get my own place. i also need a car?? ya girl got her license a year ago and still ain't got no car!

good news is ya girl is gonna be making bank 🏦🏦

anyway. i hope you guys like this chapter and it's not too bad. (i'm finding it hard to write grayson's pov bc i don't really watch the twins, or emma, and i don't even really watch a lot of james bc i don't use make up. but i'm trying my best. i watch the squad vids so that's all i got to go off of lmao.)

i love you guys. i love responding to you guys too! (my sister gets annoyed when you guys comment bc i get excited and read them to her and she literally couldn't care less lmao)

okay, enjoy this chapter. i hope it's good. i love you guys.
if you have anything you think i could improve on please tell me and i'll definitely try and check it out and see what i can do.