Ever After

Love Is (Not) Easy

Grayson arrived to his house early that morning. He got out, shut his car door and went to go inside.

Upon finding the front door locked, he sighed and took out his key to unlock it. He went in, immediately calling out for his brother. "E!" He yelled.

"Ethan! E! Yo, bro!" He continued to yell as he climbed the stairs.

"Fuck off, Grayson!" Came a tired call from Ethan's room.

Grayson walked the hall, stopping at his brother's door. He jiggled the knob, found it locked also then started to knock on the door. "Open up! We need to talk!"

Grayson heard the shuffling of feet and before he could say anything else, the door was opened and Ethan was making his way back to his bed.

The older grabbed his shirt from the corner and pulled it over his head as he turned to sit on the edge and face his brother.

Grayson waited for Ethan to speak, soon realizing he was going to initiate the conversation, he grew a little aggravated and started it himself.

"Why'd you walk out like that?" He stuttered. Grayson wasn't sure what made him ask that first. All he knew was he couldn't get that look Ethan had on his face of his head.

Ethan pushed his eyebrows together. Just jumping straight in, aren't we? He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm, uh, sorry about that. I know that wasn't the right thing to do, but I was really caught off guard and I needed to get out of there before I said something I would have regretted."

Ethan looked back up to his brother. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Grayson shook his head. "It's none of your business. I shouldn't have to tell you because it shouldn't matter."

Grayson took a deep breath. "I'm choosing to share this with you now because I know if I don't we're never going to get through this."

Ethan bit his lip. Isn't that what Emma had said? Maybe she actually was right.. "Okay, so.. what? Are you gay?"

"I'm bi." The younger corrected his brother. "James and I are dating. I still have a lot of other things to figure out and sort through and he's been a really big help so I'd appreciate if you could keep any rude comments to yourself-"

"Why would you think I'd have any rude comments? I don't want to hurt you, Gray, I just want to understand. You've never had these feeling before and you guys basically hated each other like three days ago. Excuse me for being a little cautious about this." Ethan cut him off, mumbling the last part.

Grayson thought for a moment before shaking his head. "That's wrong." He started, making his brother push his eyebrows together.

"What do you mean?" Ethan countered.

"I've had something for James since he first messaged us to collab. Probably even before that. I disregarded my feelings and pushed them away because I'd never felt that way before. It was scary, I'd never even thought I could be gay, or bi." Grayson took a deep breath.

"We became best friends. I thought we were just comfortable with each other. I loved being around him, he made me happy and he understood me. We were inseparable until that party. And then I woke up next to him, naked, and my whole world was flipped upside down. I was angry with myself for not realizing it sooner, that I had feelings for James, and I took it out on him." Grayson was just trying to hit every point. He didn't want his brother to be confused or have second thoughts about this. James was good to him, he'd always been.

Ethan didn't know what to say. This was going to take some getting used to. He couldn't believe he didn't realize his brother had something for James either. He usually knew when he liked a girl..

But James wasn't a girl. And Ethan hadn't expected Grayson to ever fall for a guy, let alone James Charles.

"Okay." He mumbled. He couldn't come up with anything else. He didn't have a problem with his brother's sexuality, he had a problem with not getting an explanation. And now he had one. And he had to understand it.

Grayson squinted his eyes at his brother. "Okay?" He repeated. "That's it? Okay? You just blew up last night for no reason? You have no problem with this?"

Ethan looked up, scoffing. "I had a problem with you not telling me. I don't care who you date."

"I shouldn't have to tell you." Grayson said for the second time. "It shouldn't be a big deal."

Ethan shook his head. "You're my brother. We tell each other everything. You were struggling with this, don't expect me to be happy because you wanted to do this alone when I could have helped you."

Grayson blinked, thinking for a moment. "Ethan. Are you gay?"

Ethan gave his brother a look. "What? No. What the hell?"

"Are you bi?" Grayson continued.

Ethan shook his head. "No. Grayson, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Then you have no business telling me you could have helped. You have no idea what I am or was going through. You don't know what it's like to wake up and realize that just because you developed feelings for someone you could lose your whole career, all your friends and family and everything you've ever known." Grayson spat.

Ethan stood up, crossing his arms. "Really? So. I wouldn't have received backlash either? Our channel wouldn't have suffered a mass loss of subscribers? This doesn't just effect you. It effects everyone around you."

Grayson couldn't believe what he was hearing. So, his brother was selfish? He really hadn't expected this. He chuckled harshly and shook his head. "Okay. I'm glad you're okay with me and James, but you sound like a fucking idiot. I'm the only one affected by my sexuality and until you can understand that, I'm going to go."

And before Ethan could think of a way to fix what he just broke again, his brother was out the door, down the steps and out of the house.

He couldn't believe how difficult this was becoming. This was supposed to solve everything. How did it make it ten times worse?

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i'm back. i hate to leave you guys like that so i'm not going to promise an update schedule or anything like that. ill just update when i update. i deal with a lot of shit in my brain so sometimes i just don't feel like writing. i'm sorry i don't know how to fix it. i've been to therapy, i've been since 2013, i've been working on it.

i'm not asking for like any kind of sympathy but i will ask if you like a certain part of the story, could you please comment? it helps. i love hearing feedback from you guys. i love hearing aspects that you like so i know how to make this better.

i will be back soon. i do not know when. and i will always reply to your comments but i don't want you to think that if i reply to a comment then i'm going to be updating because i just can't sometimes.

i love you guys. i love you guys so much. thank you for sticking by me.

i'd also like to say that i'm NOT commenting on the youtube drama at all. i will finish this book and that will be that until everything is settled.

i hope you guys enjoy this chapter 💕