What if the saints of old walked among us today-would we honor their triumphs, or whisper about their secrets?
Zarinna knows the weight of hidden truths. Once devoted, now marked by choices she cannot undo, she carries shame like a shadow she cannot...
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WAVES OF WIND swept through Zarinna as she made her way toward the store, sending a shiver down her spine with every step. The sky hung heavy with gray, threatening rain, and she needed to buy supplies before her journey.
As she entered the store, her pulse quickened — familiar voices drifted toward her.
Oh no.
She averted her eyes. Not today. Not them.
She lowered her head, hoping to blend into the crowd.
"Hey, Zarinna!"
Her eyes squeezed shut for a moment before she turned, forcing a smile. The woman's face confirmed her dread — this would not be a pleasant conversation.
"Uh, hey, Clara," she greeted softly.
"So, it's been a while. How are you doing?" Clara asked, uncertainty flickering in her tone.
"I'm doing fine," Zarinna replied. "How about you guys?"
"Ah, same old, same old." Clara hesitated. "I really feel bad about what happened to you... I—"
"I know, right?" another voice cut in. Lauren. "Who would've thought? The most respected worship leader in church fell for a—"
"Shh," Clara hissed, raising a finger to her lips.
Zarinna's cheeks burned — shame and anger warring within her. For a heartbeat, she could only stare at the two women she had once called sisters in faith.
"—a married man," she finished for them, her voice trembling. The two froze, wide-eyed. "I know. Disappointing, isn't it? I'm sorry for the shame I brought upon your church. I know I can never erase the stain I've left on its good name."
"It's not—" Clara began, but Zarinna didn't let her finish.
"Don't worry," she said, voice breaking. "I'll do you a favor — I won't come back."
Tears pricked her eyes as she turned away, her chest tightening with guilt. Why did I say that? They were right to feel that way. I'm a shame.
Each step away from them felt heavier. Pain pressed against her heart like an old wound reopening.
Didn't I love them? I held them so dear... I was the one who shared the gospel with Clara, prayed for her until she found the Lord. I saw her sins before, yet loved her still... So why does she despise me now?
She wiped her tears, her shoulders trembling. Yes, she realized bitterly, she sinned greatly when she didn't know God — but I sinned after knowing Him. I betrayed the One who saved me.
Her knees felt weak. She stopped walking, gripping the strap of her bag as if it could hold her together.
"Oh God..." she whispered, voice cracking. "Oh God, is there mercy left for me?"
"MANANG, wait!" Joshua's voice called out as he ran toward her. Zarinna turned, her younger brother slightly out of breath.
"Mamma said she's buying you snacks for the trip!"
"Oh really?" Zarinna teased, resting a fist on her hip. "But I already have food! How long does she think this ride will take?"
Joshua chuckled. "You know Mamma — she just wants to make sure you're always eating."
"I know, right?" Zarinna smiled, shaking her head fondly. But the thought of leaving her mother again sent a dull ache through her chest. How will I survive without her?
"Rinna, here are some fruits and crackers!" Dinah's voice broke through her thoughts as she approached. "Be sure to eat them all up, okay?"
"Aw, thank you, Mamma," Zarinna replied, her eyes glistening. "I sure will."
Dinah reached for her daughter's hand, her voice soft. "Take care in there, okay, 'Rinna?"
Sadness settled over Zarinna again. The days had flown by since the call from Besao, and now the moment had come — she really had to go.
"I will, Mamma. You take care too, okay?" she said, squeezing her mother's hands. "I'll come home as soon as I can."
"Okay." Dinah pulled her into a long embrace. "God bless you, child."
"Thank you, Mamma."
Joshua laughed lightly. "Manang, if you keep this up, the bus will leave without you!"
Zarinna chuckled through her tears, pulling away. "Alright, Joshua, got it."
She waved as she climbed aboard. "Bye! Both of you take care, okay?"
Her brightest smile hid the tears threatening to spill as the bus began to move. Leaning back against her seat, she whispered into the hum of the engine:
God... if You're still listening, please keep my family safe.
THE HOURS PASSED.
A wave of heat tore Zarinna from her slumber, forcing her to fan herself as she stirred awake. She lifted her scarf and glanced out the window. The streets outside buzzed with life — vendors shouting, children darting across the road, the smell of smoke and fried food thick in the air.
She squinted at a nearby sign: Province of Isabela.
They were in the lowlands now. That meant Besao was only a few hours away — two or three, at most.
She climbed down to stretch her legs and buy a drink, the sun beating mercilessly on her skin. This will be a long day, she thought.
After a short break, the bus roared to life again. Zarinna leaned against the window, eyes heavy, drifting back to uneasy sleep despite the heat that clung to her.
When she awoke again, the air was cooler, softer. Dusk was near. She checked her phone — 5:48 PM.
Her gaze lifted toward the window, and her breath caught.
Mountains rose like emerald waves beneath the dimming sky, their peaks brushed with the last light of day. It reminded her of Baguio, and yet... there was something gentler here. The silence was deeper, the peace more real.
Trees stood tall and proud with each winding curve of the road. Her heart swelled — this was her father's land. She hadn't returned often since his death. A memory flickered, warm and painful. I miss you, Papa... how I miss you.
She tried to chase away the thought, but another man's face came instead. Maybe that's why I was drawn to Nathan, she admitted silently. He carried a heart like my father's.
The sudden hiss of brakes pulled her back to the present.
"Kin-iway!" the dispatcher called. "Passengers going to Besao — here we are!"
Zarinna gathered her things and made her way to the aisle. "Manong, I have four bags and two boxes in the trunk," she told the dispatcher.
"Alright, Ading. Let's get them out."
She nodded, stepping off the bus into the cool mountain air. The dispatcher helped her retrieve her belongings, and soon the bus rolled away, leaving a trail of dust behind.
Zarinna stood still, her heart rising and falling with the wind.
The sky above was painted in streaks of orange and crimson — a masterpiece fading into night.
She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply.
Lord... may Your will be done.
~ Manang- Older Sister Ading- Younger Brother or Sister
