She felt a soft touch on her cheek. Slowly she opened her eyes and saw him sitting on the bed, next to her, handing her a flower bouquet.
"Good morning. Happy Anniversary, Babe." Another gentle kiss landed on her cheek.
She blinked her eyes and saw the face she knew for years, still as good looking as the first time she met him, but with some wrinkles. The kind eyes were looking back at her. She smiled.
"Okay, I will be in the kitchen." He left the bedroom after caressing her arms.
She got up, making the messy side of the bed, her side. There was something on the side table, a blue velvet box. She opened that box and found a necklace with dragonfly pendant. She gasped to see how beautiful the silver pendant was crafted. Slowly she put it back to the box.
Minutes later, she walked into the kitchen. "You look busy. How can I help you?"
He stopped whatever action he was doing and approached her. "Nothing. I am making something special for us." He walked her to the dining table chair. "Why don't you sit here and just relax. I will get you a drink. Orange juice this morning, more fun drinks for us tonight."
She sat in silent, watching him. She wanted to tell him that she missed him, especially during the days he was away. There was an urge to tell him that she loved him. She sipped her orange juice with her eyes still watching him. But honestly, she was not even sure that's how she really felt anymore. The butterflies kicked her stomach, leaving a pain, when she realized that her feeling for him was fading away, without her knowing why.
"Here, taste this."
She put a spoon of hot thick liquid into her mouth. "It tastes very good. What is this?" Her eyes widened.
He just winked his left eye and landed another kiss on her cheek, saying, "A special recipe for a very special woman. I am so glad you like it." He walked back to the stove. "I have everything in my head for sometimes and I think today is the perfect day to try it."
She closed her eyes. He did nothing wrong, everything went well between them. That's why she said nothing, she kept herself in silence. She couldn't reply all the affectionate words said by him, not like before, because she didn't want the words coming out of her mouth to be just words.
They sat face to face with a bowl of hot thick green soup in front of each of them and a plate of toasted bread in the middle of the table. Songs were played.
He was telling her stories of the days he was away for the work.
She looked at him and thought, 'I try to love you again the way I loved you before. I fail miserably. Nothing but emptiness I feel inside.' She saw him laughing and that broke her heart. She forced her lips to show the best cheerful smile.
"Hey, this is our favorite song. Remember?" He stood up, reaching up for her hand until she did the same. Slowly, he pulled her body closer, wrapped his hands around her waist. "I still remember how your smile enchanted me. It was one of the best nights I have ever had," he whispered. Their body moved slowly, following the rhythm of the song.
She put her head on his chest, felt his heartbeat. "I am sorry I haven't bought anything for you."
"I am not asking for anything else. I already have you and that's the best gift ever. Do you like the necklace and the pendant?"
"Yes, it is perfect. Thank you." She was too scared to let him go because she was so used to have him as a part of her life; pampered by the endless love and kindness he constantly gave her. How she wished she could feel the same love for him again.
Maybe someday he would realize how cruel she was to him and finally let her go. Maybe she would be the one who shed the tears when it happened. Maybe... Maybe... She didn't know... Just maybe....
"I love you, always." Another whisper to her ear.
She didn't say a word and just let him hold her tightly.
*****
April '18, January '19
