My dearest friend,
I am sorry.
For crossing the line.
I never meant to fall in love with you.
But it just happened.
I don't know when I started to have this feeling this for you.
Maybe it was because of so many days I spent with you, chatting and joking around.
Maybe it was because of the nicknames we gave to each other.
Maybe it was because so many 'I love you's that we said to each other, although it was meant to be a joke only.
So many maybes, but all I know for sure is that I have falling in love with you.
And that's why I have to go.
I have to keep my distance from you until this feeling goes away.
Especially now you already have someone by your side.
You chose her, not me.
It's okay but it hurts at the same time.
But I cannot be your friend anymore.
I cannot be there when you are already with someone else.
I don't have the strength to do it.
Most importantly, I don't want to hurt myself.
I wish I could tell you how I feel for you.
But I am afraid of losing you.
You told me many times that you don't want to keep on breaking girls' hearts.
That it also hurt you to see the people you treat as friends have a different feeling for you and so you take distances from them.
I was there to support you every time it happened, to cheer you up. I teased you a lot. In the end, we always laughed about this.
You don't realize that you have the curse to make most girls, friends or not friends, falling in love with you.
You don't even have to try to make them fall for you, you just be you.
Never thought I would be one of those people.
I fall for you, fall so hard.
That's why I choose to go.
You gave me the perfect reason to leave with that fight.
You apologized, I forgave you.
Things should be fine.
You told me you wanted everything to go back the way it used to be, that you missed me.
But I knew I cannot stay any longer because I don't want to have this possessive feeling toward you.
Furthermore, I don't want to hurt you.
Either way, I tell you my feeling or not, I will still lose you cos you will never see me the way I see you.
That's why it's better I choose my own way of losing you, so it won't hurt me too much.
You may never be able to forgive me for leaving you. You may even hate me.
It's okay.
I have to live with it
My dearest friend,
I love you, goodbye.
