Feelings Long Buried - Roger Taylor

September 1972

A few weeks later, Brian found himself at Y/N's helping her with some very late spring cleaning. She'd been partially avoiding the band, embarrassed by Roger had said, despite them not actually having heard her sing. Having been holed up in her house most of that time, she had to busy herself to keep her mind away from Roger and the whole situation, hence the cleaning. Brian hadn't seen much of her lately, so he was glad to help out.

"And, last box," he announced, descending the attic ladder with much care.

"Thank you," Y/N said cheerfully while grabbing the box from his arms.

"Why'd you keep all this stuff from school anyway?" Brian put the ladder back up before following Y/N into the living room where more boxes awaited.

"Shocked to hear that coming from you, Dr. May," she teased without looking up from the box she was opening. The guitarist let out a dry chuckle and sat beside her.

"I just mean why did you hold on to every assignment? How much can an essay about 'Changes in the Japanese Stock Market from the Years 1962-1964' really help you today?" he asked, reading over Y/N's shoulder at the essay she was holding.

"Hey, I may need to invest in Toyota someday down the line. I'll need to know the history," Y/N said with a grin. "But this is why I need to get rid of all this stuff. I kept it for sentimental reasons at first, but I really don't need anything from college except my degree."

"You talk about college like you graduated twenty years ago," Brian teased. He dug into the other boxes, labeled for different classes, and started to sort.

"Hey, one year has been enough time for these papers to gather dust in my attic," Y/N muttered, and absentmindedly started to hum along to the Elton John record filling her apartment. "Besides, I live in London. I need whatever storage space I can get." She tossed some papers into the recycling bin, barely glancing at the titles, and was unaware of the wanting look Brian was giving from the other side of the couch. He thought, anyway. "Something you want to say, Bri?" Y/N questioned.

"I have a question, but it may sound selfish," he said meekly. That caused Y/N to pause. As her eyes moved over to her best friend, she couldn't ignore the guilt and anxiety evident on his features.

"What is it?" She turned towards him to give her full attention. Brian took a preparational breath before looking up to her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me you liked to sing? You told me the opposite, actually..." Brian felt awful for asking, given how she felt about Roger exposing it, but it had been eating at him for the past two weeks. She was his best friend, of course he wished she told him sooner, but he also knew it was her secret to tell.

Y/N had an unreadable expression for the moments before replying. "I didn't tell anybody, Bri."

"I know I just... The rational part of my brain knows this was your secret, and you didn't have to tell me, but I guess... I guess I was just a little shocked that we've spent years writing together, and I never knew," he shrugged. Y/N could tell Brian didn't really want to bring it up, but was genuinely curious at the same time.

She let a breath escape her nose. "I'm sorry, you're my best friend, I should've trusted you enough to-"

"You don't need to apologize, it's completely your right to want to keep it to yourself," Brian interrupted quickly. He knew he shouldn't have brought it up. "I'm sorry I brought it up at all."

Comfortable silence settled over them again as they resumed sorting, but the conversation started chipping away at Y/N's mind. He had a point, and a part of her wanted to sing along with him whenever they would write lyrics together. But she was just always afraid she wasn't any good, or that people would judge her for something that was purely her, but it was Brian. Brian would never.