Flowering Passion

Marlin

Tossing and turning with dreams of her with Jill, Celia smiled. She had already pressed snooze a few times that afternoon. At some point, she must have put earbuds in, since she could hear familiar music in her dreams. She hadn't slept this peacefully in a while. "WHO ELSE WOULD BE RIGHT FOR HER? JUST BECAUSE SHE IS GOING THROUGH SOME PHASE DOESN'T CHANGE THAT FACT!" Celia's eyes opened. 'What is going on? They haven't fought this bad in a while. Wait, are they fighting about me?'




Rolling over while turning her music off, Celia kept her earbuds on pretending to be asleep. Why would she even come up in a fight between Vesta and Marlin? "CELIA IS A HUMAN BEING, NOT YOUR PRIZE TO BE WON!" Vesta reacted. 'I can't even remember Vesta being this mad about anything before. Did Marlin drink too much again?' Celia's thoughts raced as fast as her heart with all sorts of fears and scenarios. "SORRY IF I JUST SEE THE TRUTH FOR WHAT IT IS! SHE IS NOT NORMAL, SHE DOESN'T DO NORMAL THINGS THAT OTHER GIRLS DO, AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN TALK TO PEOPLE OFF THE COMPUTER! I DON'T THINK SHE EVEN KNOWS WHAT THE REAL WORLD IS LIKE OUTSIDE THE FARM! AT LEAST I COULD GIVE HER A CHANCE AT A NORMAL LIFE CONSIDERING I COULD TAKE CARE OF BOTH OF US WITH OUR HEALTH!"




Vesta blew up,"DO YOU REALLY WANT TO LOSE HER FOREVER? BECAUSE SHE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER THAN A POSSESSIVE DOUCHE WHO FEELS ENTITLED TO HER PRESENCE! YOU KNOW THIS IS WHY EVERY GIRL LEFT YOU BEFORE, MARLIN!" Celia felt the tears rolling down her cheeks grow bigger.




"WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING? YOU HAVEN'T BEEN WITH A MAN IN-" "MARLIN!" Vesta took in a breath. Fuming she replied, "This is not about me or my past relationships. This is about how your arrogance is tearing apart our family dynamic. If you can't move on from the fact that Celia is not interested in you-" "Why? I have her best interests in mind. That friend of hers is just going to corrupt her with feminist crap and take advantage of her. Maybe I should leave since you think that you know best,"




Hurt and about to go speak her mind, Celia rolls over and is about to step out of bed. She stops when Vesta replies obviously in tears, "I have tried to keep the peace for too long on something that is broken beyond repair. Maybe you should leave," Marlin exploded, "YOU WOULD REALLY JUST LET ME GO? JUST LIKE THAT? AFTER EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE FOR BOTH OF YOU UNGRATEFUL LEECHES? 2 WOMEN RUNNING THIS PLACE ALL BY THEMSELVES, THAT IS HILARIOUS!"




Tearfully screaming, she points to the door, "WE WILL MANAGE. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. YOU HAVE UNTIL TOMORROW MORNING TO GET YOUR THINGS OUT OF HERE!" Celia pretends to be asleep while trying to wipe tears from her face when she noticed Vesta's footsteps coming up amongst the slamming and rude remarks from Marlin downstairs.




"Celia," Vesta started while wiping tears from her own eyes. "I know you aren't asleep. I don't think anyone would be able to sleep through that. It's ok, it's all going to be alright, I promise," Celia turned over as Vesta sat beside her. She had no idea how to react, or how to feel about this. They both knew that Marlin had been turning into something he didn't used to be for a while now. "Auntie, what are we going to do? Should we try to stop him? Maybe he could change,"




Vesta looked down at Celia, who was trying to avoid eye contact. She had seen her grow so much over these last few years. She could even remember when she was a just a little toddler when she would visit her and her mother nearly 20 years ago. "Celia, sit up. We need to have an honest conversation," She sat up confused and scared. Scooting to the end of the bed, she reached out to Vesta's arms for shelter. Vesta held her close, like a mother bear.




After some time passed, Vesta broke the barrier with a voice that didn't hide the fresh wounds, "Celia, I may not be your biological mother, but I don't care. You are my daughter. I.. have seen you grow so much as a young woman. We have grown even closer these past few years with you living here. Sometimes I have to tell your mother, and sometimes your father too, that they can't protect you from everything in this world. That sometimes we need to learn things from experience as humans, we need to be there when you fall to help dust you off. We need to prepare you for this world, it's far from perfect, but it's all we have," The door slammed and Vesta tried not to cry as Celia looked her in the eyes, trying not to burst anymore than they both already had.




"I understand where they are coming from though, I wish I could just do something to make life smoother for you," Looking down for a moment and wiping her face again, she spoke again, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "I wish I could at the very least make Marlin understand what it is like to be in a woman's shoes," Celia held her tighter, "Auntie, don't doubt yourself or a woman's power. If you have taught me anything, it's that we are capable of so many amazing things despite what some people say. You even started this farm despite what people were saying about it before I was born. It's hard to see Marlin go, but I haven't called him Uncle Marlin in a while for a reason. I know this is hard, I am trying to stronger than I ever had before. But I promise we will make it through together,"




Both were astonished at her will. 'Wow, I'm actually... this strong?' Celia thought as her tears rolled down. Vesta was speechless, her little girl was a young woman. After a short silence Vesta took in a deep breath, "You really are growing up into a strong and beautiful young lady. You reminded me of the strength I used to have. Thank you," Celia smiled through it all. "I know Marlin wasn't always like this, what made him into this?"




"Entitlement. As a kid he was always spoiled beyond belief being a son. We always stuck together though when we were kids, but he started acting like this in our preteens. You know how boys can get when puberty starts. We were still close, but I didn't want to lose our friendship. I tried to take the easy way, and avoid conflict on something that I had no support on in my town. I was a lot like you, I didn't really relate to most women in town. You can only imagine how someone like me wouldn't fit into expectation's box. But than I had met a man who worked on a farm a little outside of town, I finally saw a way to fit in. He was a close friend of Marlin's, so we didn't get along much past the first few months. I had some boyfriends before that point, but I just never connected with them,"




Celia had never heard this part of the story, "Do you even like men?" Vesta paused and sighed, "I don't even know Celia. You know how people were back than about certain topics, things have changed so much too. Sometimes I wish I was born years later." Celia shocked said, "But, why don't you reach out for help? I can try to help you find a thera-" "Thanks Celia, but who could love an older woman like me?" Celia couldn't stay quiet on this, "Auntie Vesta, you are an amazing person. And if you feel like this, surely others like you must?"




Eager to change the subject, she replied, "Another time. We need to figure out what to do about Marlin leaving," Celia was brought back to today, "Oh... yeah," Playing with her fingers, Celia replied, "You can stay with me and Jill for as long as you need," Vesta shocked said, "Celia, I can figure things out here. I can hire some help. Don't even worry, you are starting a new life, don't let me weigh you down. Besides, shouldn't you talk to Jill about that first?"




"I will work on both farms if I have to! I can put off the move, Jill would understand. I can't let you go through this alone," she persisted. Vesta was flashing back to various points in her life and memories of Celia. Tearing up again, she got up and said, "Celia, I need to take a walk and be alone with my thoughts, I don't think I can talk about this rationally right now. Can I please take you to Jill's farm before that though?" Celia wanted to solve this now, but she had never seen her like this before. She got up and hugged her, "Do what helps Auntie, I am here for you. Please don't be afraid to reach out to us,"




The sun was hiding behind overcast clouds and felt slightly somber. Celia was alone, even though she was right next to Auntie Vesta. She was aware of the people around her, some just in a hurry to get the city or the beach. She couldn't recognize the couple laughing as they walked past. "Sorry Ruby, I can get you some tomorrow, Oh nothing just some business to attend to, thanks," The world around Celia was foggy. 'How can she even function after what just happened? Is that growing up?' Celia couldn't even fake a smile. She just wanted to cry in Jill's arms.




They made it to Jill's farm. It was starting to sprinkle when the two turned the corner. Vesta noticed Jill letting the last of the animals in. Jill smiled and waved to them. Celia's eyes locked on Jill as she ran up to Jill sobbing. Confused, Jill ran up to her and jumped over the fence to embrace her. "What happened Celia? Tell me about it, maybe I can help," She wept as she told her everything. Jill worriedly interrupted, "I can't understand what you are saying. Take deep breaths and come inside my house with me." Jill looked up at Celia as she tried to compose herself for long enough. Jill kissed her cheek, "I promise it will be ok, you are not alone,"




Vesta nervously smiled and held back. Celia was in good hands, she had nothing to fear. But all she wanted to do was squeeze Celia tightly and tell her it will be all right while they decoupaged some jars together while Marlin went to pick up food. The rain picked up, snapping Vesta out of her wishful thinking, "Jill, I can fill you in on what is going on." "Ok, please come in too, I can make us some food or something," Jill insisted. She turned to Celia and held her hand tightly with a pounding heart. "Let's all get inside, this rain should finish my work for a while,"




Walking in, Celia went straight for the sofa. Vesta follows her then sits next to her hugging her tightly. Jill closes the door asking them, "Is coffee okay?" Vesta answers, "Sure if if it's not a problem," Jill agrees then asks, "Celia, you want some too?" With a low voice she replied, "Maybe in a little bit, I just want to sleep for now," Jill kissed her on the forehead, "Let me get you a blanket and a pillow, rest as long as you need to," Vesta walked over to the kitchen table and sat down once again, trying not to take Jill's place. Jill took some blankets and a pillow out of a closet than tucked Celia in, whispering something that made her relax a little.




Jill walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a canister of coffee beans from a cabinet. "I was wanting to try this. I got it from Van, I think he got it from the city. The bag originally said it was caramel coffee cake flavor. Hopefully it helps," Vesta nervously chuckled, "Sounds tasty and a nice change of pace from my usual cup," Jill added water to the coffee maker and started a fresh pot. "I don't mean to be rude, sorry if this is none of my business, but what happened? I have never seen Celia cry like that before," The aroma from the coffee filled the cabin with a warm and comforting feeling. It relaxed Vesta from her tension as she told Jill what happened earlier that morning.




Celia was falling. She was underwater falling at a high speed. It was dark. There was nothing around her. She was waiting. For it all to stop. The bubble she was in popped and now she could see. Even though it was blurrier than normal, she was in the forest by Jill's farm. She saw Jill fishing and wanted to say hi. Jill looked excited as her fishing rod shook. Celia tried to grab her waist to help her, but before she could reach, Marlin grabbed Celia and pulled her away. While she was resisting, she heard Vesta crying from a distance. She tried to get away, but couldn't. Jill pushed her way through the trees and grabbed Celia. They hugged and than sat on Jill's sofa, watching tv together. Vesta was in a coffee shop next to them. She seemed sad behind the counter, like she was dreaming of what could have been, Celia reached out for her, but no response. She was crying.




"Celia! Celia!" Jill was standing over her concerned. Celia sat up and hugged her tightly. "It's ok sweetie. It was just a bad dream. You are here. You are safe in my arms," Jill caressed her gently as they embraced. "Wait, where's Auntie Vesta?" "She's in the bathroom. She should be out soon. Do you want to tell me about the dream?" Jill questioned with concern. "I don't even remember it, it is probably for the best," The bathroom door opened shortly after the sink sounds stopped. "Celia, you're up! How are you feeling?"




"Ok. I had a bad dream I can't remember though," Celia said as she sat down at the table. Jill sat beside her and held her hand. Vesta sat across from them and took a sip of her coffee. "Don't try to remember it. You don't need any more stress right now," Celia sniffed and asked, "What kind of coffee is that? It smells great!" "I can get you a cup real quick. It is caramel coffee cake flavored," Jill offered. "Sounds delicious! I would like some,"




Jill smiled and got up to get her some. Celia thanked her. Vesta kept staring into space, going back down the good and the bad parts of Memory Lane again. Celia noticed, "Auntie, are you ok?" Vesta putting down her coffee mug asked, "I'm assuming you both want to know how Marlin ended up this way? I keep remembering how he didn't used to be like this, I need to get this off my mind," Jill passed Celia a mug and sat down. She replied, "I am ok with hearing this story. What about you, honey?" Celia nodded as she took a sip. "You said it was entitlement and toxic masculinity in childhood?" Jill held back from rolling her eyes successfully as she thought to herself, 'How original, why do men suck?'




"Yes, but there is a little more. When he decided to let me be his boss years ago, he was going through a rough patch. Some girl had just broke up with him again. He never could get a girl to stay with him for long. It seemed like he was more serious about her than some of the others. He thought he could win her back with the farm somehow. But she had enough self respect not to. She had moved without telling him shortly after. He started drinking after that, all while making the same mistakes over and over again," Celia mentioned, "But he has-" Vesta chuckled, "He does, yes. But not as serious as he makes it out to be. He likes to use that card to his advantage. You have a big heart Celia. But don't let others abuse it. I used to find excuses for his behavior all the time too," Celia didn't know what to say, she had hoped there were more sympathetic reasons for Marlin's downfall.




"Also, I don't know how to say this, but like most men he really doesn't like being outdone by a woman. Marlin is homophobic, but he always seemed to get madder at lesbians vs gay men. He would get angry whenever certain celebrities are mentioned on tv. Most of them gay or lesbian. Some men just feel threatened by the most non issues. I know you both know about how he was convinced Celia was his and only his, but the idea of you being with a woman and not him shattered his ego. And always got hostile towards the idea of more feminine gay girls on tv. I can only imagine how many other men have ding dongs that small," The 3 shared a much needed laugh, "I feel a little better getting that out. Anyway Celia, Jill and I were talking when you were asleep. We figured out a solution to this mess,"




"What do you mean?" Celia asked. "Well I am going to hire someone to help out for now, and continue to work. I will be here whenever I am needed to help you both," Jill looked anxious as Vesta made her announcement. Celia annoyed, spoke her mind, "Auntie Vesta, you can't do that! You will be working even harder than before when you need to take care of yourself after what just happened! You aren't a machine, you can't keep doing that to yourself," Vesta replied, "Celia, work doesn't just stop for these types of things. I can't lose my livelihood. Jill brought that same thing up to me earlier, and I explained to her too. Some things just need to be put on the back burner an-"




"For how long? A few years? A few decades? Auntie, you told me something very personal earlier. It is not going to heal itself unless you take care of yourself. Please, stay with us and work on yourself," Celia was not going to let her just kill herself like this. "Celia, think about our... my home. Do you really think the bills will pay themselves?" "No, but don't be afraid to ask for help. We can figure out something. I know Mom and Dad would help in a heartbeat. Dad would find some people at his job to help too. And so would Mom. And Jill and I! You are not alone, just let us help you. You don't have to fight this alone," Celia said teary eyed.




Vesta knew she was right. About everything. Had the roles been reversed? She had always hated the prideful attitude her elders had about asking for help. Was she becoming that without even realizing it? What if she lost her life's work? What if she was wrong? Vesta sighed, "But, this isn't even guaranteed. Surely we could figure something else more-" Celia interrupted, "Nothing is. But we can try. And maybe taking better care of every part of yourself will bring you peace. And I think that is worth reaching for," Jill was surprised at Celia's reaction. She was proud to have Celia as her girlfriend. Celia got up and hugged Vesta. "What do you think Jill? Do you want to help Auntie Vesta?" Jill nodded with slightly watery eyes.