Childhood friends

Small moments

   Jinki glanced down at him before speaking "So will you tell me why you were crying?" Tao let out a tired sigh, and leaned his head against the mirror "Jinki... why don't you just marry my sister and take over our company?" He turned his head towards Jinki. He knew it's a weird and impossible request, but he just couldn't see any other options. 

"Tao..." Jinki's low voice started out before being cut off "I just.. hate it all!" The younger could feel new tears forming in his eyes, all of the thoughts and feelings that were still bottled up made their way out  "Why do I have to- to take over the company when I don't want to?!" He yelled out and locked eyes with Jinki shortly, before turning away and letting the tears flow freely.

"I just... I can't be the heir! That's not who I am! I don't wanna be the heir! I can't! Why me?! Why not someone he trusts more?! What about Victoria?!"
"Tao calm down"
"I can't! I can't calm down! There is so much going on and I don't know what to do! He wants me to participate in meetings when I turn 17!"
"Tao-"
"I have told him so many times that I'm not suited to take over the company! You gotta help me Jinki" He finished rambling his feeling and thoughts, and let Jinki answer him.

"Tao" He slowly started out  "I don't know how to. I can't talk to your father about this, he doesn't know who I am", he continued and looked at Tao. He looked so small and fragile, sitting there with tears in his eyes, and his legs pressed into his body 

"I'm really sorry, but I can't see how I'm supposed to help you" He looked at Tao's small body forming further into a ball. A pang of guilt and sorrow hit his heart. 

"It's okay. I shouldn't expect you to be able to help" Tao let him know calmly. He didn't blame him for not being able to do anything "I'm scared though" The younger started out again "I can't tell my parents about my sexuality, I'll have to keep it hidden for the world, I can't be myself in any way," his voice started to become harsh and more frustrated as he continued "I can't just go around and be rebellious like Johnny"

 "I can't be who I am, without people saying shit about me!" He started ever so slowly to yell "Telling me I'm a disgrace! I hate being in my family because of this!" he calmed down quickly to continue in a soft voice "I wish I was unknown, so I can be me. But now I have this life, this curse" Tao let his arms fall to his side, started sobbing out loud. Even if Jinki tried to calm him down, or held him close, he wouldn't stop. So there they sat, in the studio and waited for Tao to stop crying, which he eventually did "Are you okay?" Tao nodded "Yeah, I'm fine now. Thanks" Tao looked around for a bit, "I think I should go home" 

"Good idea" Jinki went out again and Tao sat alone in the room. He really needs to pick up his pieces and focus. He can't keep going like this; In and out of this darkness, he needs to go back to his old optimistic self, that fought the world head-on, even if he had experienced so many disappointments, that he shouldn't be optimistic anymore. But that's how he is. He fights on. He doesn't give up for some reason, maybe because it's weak, it's pathetic. At some point, there'll come something worth being optimistic about, and Tao is waiting for that day. He must add though, that even if life's filled with disappointments, there's still something worth being optimistic about, like Kris and their friendship. 

There are many times where Tao would almost become a pessimist but stopped because somehow, something good happened. It might be a small thing, but it was always enough for him to keep his head upwards, enough to keep him from drowning. 

But now he's afraid he might start looking downwards. He's already looking that way right now. He's embarrassed to show his face as the heir, knowing he won't make a good CEO. But he won't give up! He will keep going, he won't let the darkness take over, not yet. 

He doesn't wanna look in the mirror and see a pessimist, doesn't want to see only his shell left. He believes; believe it or not, that you get nowhere, being negative about everything. That's just ruining everyone's mood. 

He was about to grab his bag when his phone rang

"Hey" Tao let out as he answered, "Are you okay Tao?" 

These are the small good moments he waits for, to know someone cares about him "I'm fine, I'm sorry for running away like that. My emotions took over"

"What happened?" Kris asked. Tao leaned against the glass and thought about how he should answer 

"Just pressure and stress, the usual you know" he paused for a moment before continuing "The time for me to participate meeting is getting closer, so I'm nervous and scared"
"It's gonna be fine Tao, you can do it. I'm here, so don't worry, I will stand by you" Tao froze, as Kris spoke the words. The happiness spread throughout his whole body and a smile crept onto his face. Even though Kris doesn't mean it the way Tao wants it to, it's still perfect enough for now "Thank you, Kris" he spoke softly.
"Well, do you want to hang out later?"
"Of course!"
"Then I'll see you later"
"Yeah" The smile that's on Tao's face won't disappear any time soon.