Childhood friends

New year, new me?

"Did you know that Ten likes dancing too?" Kris asked Tao as they walked home from the bbq, the air was warm, and Tao felt at ease, physically he felt at ease, his mind wandered from the conversation with Baekhyun, to right now, where he was walking with Kris in the warm summer air at night. The light poles shone as they walked, the orange light reflecting on the ground "No, I didn't" he answered.

Kris let out a hum and the conversation died out, Tao didn't know what to talk to him about, Baekhyun and Chanyeol? Yuta and Sicheng? Seventeen? Soccer?

"How's it going at the company?" Kris asked Tao with a smile, Tao noticed his surroundings, the bridge that went over the Han river that they were walking on.

He walked towards the ledge and rested his arms "It's..." He trailed off, there was nothing special about it, it was just Tao, learning how to work in the business. It was so awful that he'd rather overdose than take over the business. So awful he'd rather be disowned, but he couldn't say that to Kris, could he?

"It's boring as hell, legit ugh. I'm not excited for when I'm supposed to take over," He said instead with a smile, head resting on his arms. He didn't notice how Kris gave a small smile and a sigh of relief as he saw Tao smile "Well guess we gotta run away" Kris blurted out, he didn't think that much about it, but Tao's heart made a small jump at the words, and he couldn't help but imagine them in a house in a small town, just living their life the way they want to. He tried to ignore it, but he had to ask.

He turned to Kris with a small smile "We?" he asked, and Kris just shrugged "Yeah, can't let you go alone can I? You'll probably get yourself killed" He finished, before breaking out in a smile, which caused Tao to laugh, while his heart jumped around inside him. How couldn't he love him when he said things like that? Kris had his hands in his pockets and took a deep breath before speaking "It's good to have you back Tao"

Immediately Tao felt warmth creep up from his heart. He could hear the sincerity in his words, and the look in his eyes told him that he wasn't kidding "I..." Tao didn't know what to say "It's just you've been out of it lately, and I was worried, but you seem fine" Kris spoke again and this time, Tao felt a feeling somewhere between sorrow, guilt, and love?

His heart broke, but he felt whole listening to the words that spilled from his mouth.

Kris took a few steps closer and stopped right in front of Tao. Their height wasn't that different, Kris and Tao were around the same height still. Tao held his breath as Kris suddenly pulled him into a hug.

"Please tell me what's on your mind" He heard Kris' shaky voice let out, was he crying? The feeling of a burden was suddenly placed on his shoulders, as he responded his hug and held his arms tight around him I can't he thought You'll hate me, won't you?

"Pl-please" He pleaded, he felt a wet spot on his shoulder and realized that he was indeed crying "I...." Tao started out, but he couldn't finish.

How was he supposed to tell Kris what he wants to hear when it's an upright lie? He can't lie to him, neither could he tell the truth.

"I'm... I'm sorry" He spoke, his voice almost inaudibly as he tightened his arms around Kris' back "I'm sorry" he spoke again.

"It's so hard" He spoke, his voice breaking "It's so, so hard" tears spilling from his eyes, his arm covering his eyes. He was placed on his bed on his back as he was talking to Johnny over the phone.

It's been over a week since that episode had happened, and Tao was so torn. His feelings were messed up, and overwhelming.

An ocean of guilt spilled, together with an ocean of love, and he can't see land anywhere "Tao I know it's hard okay?" He heard Johnny's voice speak "And I want nothing more than for you to be loved okay?"