Red Winter

Chapter Seven - Winter and Red

Bucky cannot sleep again. A hundred questions swarm his head, half of them are about Natasha. He remembers how she navigated her emotions earlier as she told her story and can't help but admire how natural she was at masking the truth. She may have cried in front of all of them, but Bucky knows Natasha's more torn and broken that she leads on. He understands her on so many levels, having a similar history of being used and forced to do other people's bidding at the cost of their souls. 

Yes, that must be it. Our similar history makes me feel so connected to her,  Bucky tries to rationalize. 

But he's not convinced, remembering the odd encounter they had in the medical bay. He finally sits up, forgoing any thought of sleep. He heads back down to the common area for a midnight snack and he's surprised to see Natasha ducked in the fridge. Bucky stops, undecided whether to stay or go. He looks at Natasha again and hears her grunt behind the fridge door as she goes through the food inside.

Don't run, Bucky commands himself. It's your chance. He takes a deep breath and slowly steps inside the doorway.

"Hey," he says softly so as not to startle her. Natasha's head pops out of the fridge and seeing it is just Bucky, gives him a smile.

What was that? Bucky silently asks himself. He saw Natasha's smile but he swears he saw something else for a fraction of a second before that smile. Was that shock? Fear, maybe? Bucky shakes the thought off and walks closer to her. "Couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah," Natasha replies, still going over the leftover cartons and containers inside. She opens a take away container and finds several dumplings that still somehow smell okay. She pulls it out, closes the door and goes over the counter. "I didn't exactly get a chance to eat anything the whole day."

Bucky remembers her eating Wanda's cookies that morning but he figures she must have slept all day after that. Clint said she was asleep when they all had dinner. He watches as Natasha picks one dumpling and dumps it straight in her mouth. "How is it?"

"Barely edible,"Natasha manages to mumble despite a full mouth. Natasha offers him the take away container, gesturing him to eat with him and he gladly accepts. He dumps one in his mouth.

"Yeah, you're right, barely," Bucky agrees. They both chuckle. Bucky continues to watch as Natasha limps around the kitchen, getting a bottle of water, other condiments or seasoning to give the dumplings some resemblance of taste. He smiles as she tries each condiment on the dumpling and finds that nothing really works. For a moment, Bucky feels happy, a different kind of happy. But familiar like everything else about Natasha.

"So, how is it going, Barnes?" Natasha asks him after a sip of water. Bucky's a bit surprised not that she initiated a conversation but because how 'Barnes' feel and sound so cold coming from her.

"Everything's fine. Been doing these USO tours with Steve."

"That's good. He finally agreed to do that," Natasha says. "They've been asking him for years, I'm happy he finally opened up to the idea."

"Yeah. He doesn't say it but he likes it, he likes the familiarity of the bases," Bucky continues. Like the familiarity I have with you.

"How about you? You settled in okay? Found a new hobby, maybe?" Natasha asks and Bucky sees genuine interest in her eyes. He doesn't respond immediately. He just finds himself vexed by her eyes.

"Your eyes are gorgeous green," Bucky says dreamily as he stares at her eyes. Natasha's brow furrow at his remark, obviously surprised, but recovers quickly.