Star-Crossed

Chapter 70

Dwalin laughed heartily at Bofur's song, an attempt to lighten the mood. Bilbo rolled his eyes, the song poking fun at his burglaring skill, and took Dwalin's bowl. Balin's smile didn't quite reach his eyes, his mind concerned with other, more kingly matters. As Bofur took a seat, Fili and Kili stood, the eldest dancing as the youngest played fiddle. The others kept time with their hands, clapping as Fili danced a traditional dwarven dance around the small fire. Ori and Dori stepped up, offering vocals to the song as Nori joined in with a small flute. 

"Beuren! You're just in time for-" She pushed past Bilbo, her hand colliding with Dwalin's cheek. The entire room echoed with the sound, everyone gasping as she stared at him. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Well, hello to you too?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!" 

"Tell you what woman?!" 

"He told me everything!" Her voice cracked. "He told me, everything." Beuren turned, taking to the stairs at an alarmingly quick pace, stumbling in stride a time or two. 

"What is she talking about?" Balin questioned, as his brother's eyes filled with worry.

In her quarters, Beuren furiously began to sort through Thorin's old closet in an attempt to find something that would brave her from the cold. The angrier she got, the more she just wanted to burn all of his belongings. Shoving the door open, she nearly ran headlong into Dwalin. She said nothing as she pushed past him and into Frerin's old room. Surely, he would have had something she didn't want to set ablaze. 

"Can we talk?" Dwalin had never seemed so small in all the time she'd known him, but her anger was too great. 

"No." She sorted through Frerin's closet, taking a heavy winter coat off the rack and one of his old shirts. 

"Beuren-"

"No, Dwalin." 

"Listen to me." He blocked her path, not letting her leave the dusty room. Closing the door behind him he turned back to her. "Please."

"You better get on with it. I haven't much time and I'd like to make it to Dale before the temperature drops much more."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm leaving Dwalin!"

"Well you'll have to settle that with Oin because you aren't well enough to leave this mountain. Those burns are serious, Beuren, you'd risk infection." 

"Then so be it." She threw open the door, returning to her room and carefully removing her shirt, her burns had already begun to ooze. Dwalin took Frerin's shirt, helping her get it over her head. 

"I'm sorry." She paused, looking up at Dwalin. It was rare that Dwalin apologized, or even admitted to being wrong. "I should have told you." Taking a deep breath, Beuren gave a nod, taking a seat on the foot of her bed. 

"Since you're not letting me leave," She began. "I guess I have nothing better to do than to hear you out." Dwalin fell into the chair in the corner of the room, one that he'd occupied many times when Thorin lived inside these walls. 

"I first started to notice it when I was in my early thirties, you and Thorin had just turned twenty." He smiled gently at the memory. "I had picked you up off the floor, you were totally smashed, it was Frerin's birthday."

"Charming."

"Hey, we don't get to choose when or how it happens lass, it just does." Dwalin sat back in his seat. "I took you back to my house, laid you down on the bed and then went back to fetch Thorin. When I returned, you'd sprawled out, taking up the entire bed of course." He shrugged. "I pulled your boots off, tucked you in, and went and laid down on the couch." Dwalin leaned forward again, elbows on his knees, rubbing his palms together nervously. "When I woke up the next morning, you were in the kitchen making breakfast." Beuren couldn't recall the exact morning, having stayed plenty of nights at Dwalin's-he lived closer to their favorite tavern than Balin or Thorin had-and always making breakfast in the morning as a 'thank you for not leaving me on the floor'. 

"Dwalin, I'd done that loads of times..." He nodded. 

"But this time was different." A faint smile spread over his face. "You were kneading the dough for biscuits. You had flour on your nose and in your hair. You were dancing about to a song you were humming, I don't think you ever noticed me standing there." There was emotion in his eyes that Beuren hadn't ever seen before. It forced a smile on her face despite her being so upset. "But I just knew. Right then. And there was nothing I could do about it." Dwalin sighed. "You were Thorin's, and he was a Prince." 

"But she wasn't his." A muffled voice came from behind the door, Kili stepped in. "Aunt Beuren wasn't Thorin's One." Fili stood awkwardly, glowering at the back of his brother's head for giving them away. Balin cleared his throat, stepping around the Prince's. 

"So much for a private conversation." Dwalin snapped. Balin ignored him. 

"For Dwarves, a soulmate is typically one that they plan to marry. But not exclusively." Balin stood before everyone, hands clasped behind his back, looking altogether teacher-ly. "Thorin is only one of many who have experienced an attachment to a soulmate they love unconditionally but are certainly not planning to marry." Balin looked to the golden-haired prince. "Fili if Thorin's One." 

"So, then...what does that make me? Chopped liver?" Beuren wasn't taking this as well as Balin had hoped.

"Ok, let me rephrase: he loves you, deeply, just... you're not his soulmate."

"Oh, shut up." Beuren barked. "I'm leaving, that's final." She rose to her feet. 

"Beuren." Kili stayed her hand, looking her in the eye, only then did he see the tears. 

"He left me." She turned to look at everyone. "Called off our engagement and banished me from the mountain. Again. Tell me now, Balin, does that sound like love to you?" She swung her pack over her shoulder. 

"There's the door." Dwalin surprised everyone by his statement. "Why don't you go run back to your elves. Again." 

"Wha-" Beuren stared at him in shock.

"You're blubbering over the fact that you aren't Thorin's One as if I haven't stood by for years watching you fawn over him knowing full well that he couldn't give you what you wanted. I waited for years for you to realize it, but you never did, and I lived with it." Kili's eyes grew wide as he slowly shuffled towards the door, Fili close behind. "As for him calling off your engagement, he's sick, Beuren. He's been being an asshole to everyone since Laketown. You aren't special here, not alone." Balin cringed as his brother's words. "You're angry, I get it, but when you get angry you go too far! You give up, tuck tail, and run. And I'm getting rather tired of it." He took her shoulders carefully in his hands. "I love you, to the ends of this life and the next, but you're a right pain in my ass. Pull yourself together or get out."