||winter woods|| a therian journal

I HATE MYSELF

i swear like directly after saying i'm gonna start updating frequently i just go and disappear

sorry bout dat...i just haven't been super motivated lately

the bright side is that i have somE TEA ☕️ 

but it's also kinda sad eEHhH

so basically i'm just casually in class when my best fren texts me and is like i gotta say something and i'm like oh boy spill it and they just kinda casually "i like you" and i don't believe them at all so i call them out for lying and they sTART CRYING and  i kinda freak out and say "don't worry i like you too" 

but

problem

i dont 

...

so i say that to cheer them up and it works, they start to smile in a super cute way so yay job done right?

wrOnG

a few days later they text me again and ask me out

...

so i realize that i can't pretend to like them anymore and so i just kinda admit to lying and say no and they seem to take it really well 

bUT THEN my other friends start texting me and they're really effing mad for lying and one actually yells at me for being a terrible person and making them cry AGAIN so yeah :)

i just i don't know i wish so much that i could like them back because all i do right now is make them sad and i really just wish that they could not like me and find someone better that would actually love them.

but there is one more complication 

i go home, pick up my phone, and see a text

the text just says "hello" nothing to freak out about 

it's who sent it that is why i started freaking

a little while back, i met someone at a dance. we talked, danced, and spent almost the whole night together. we both liked each other a lot, and exchanged numbers, but we never really texted.

until they texted "hello"

i talked to them a bit and they said that they just wanted to check up on me and see if i was going to the next dance. i should be super excited about this, if it wasn't for the fact that my friend is going to be there too. the one that likes me. i really like the dance person but i also don't want to hurt my friend even more 

THE IS WHY I FREAKING HATE LOVE people always just get hurt in the end

wasn't that a happy chapter? :) 

bye y'all 

🌲