We Are Alive

Chapter 3 - Ashamed

I open the door to my humble abode and allow him to come inside, "Make yourself at home, I guess" I say.

Connor looks around and walks over to my bookshelf, I set my keys down on the table next to my wallet and grab a water bottle.

"You own Romero and Juliet?" he asks, I turn back and look at him and see him holding my copy of Romeo and Juliet.

"Yeah, I own a lot of different books," I say absentmindedly.

"I take thee at thy word. Call me but love, and I'll be new baptis'd; Henceforth I never will be Romeo." Connor recites, he's at the scene where Juliet is at her balcony, and Romeo is confessing his love.

How the hell does he know Romeo and Juliet??

"What man art thou that, thus bescreened in night, So stumblest on my counsel?" I recite, I look at him out of the corner of my eye and smile slightly, but quickly cover it up with a cough.

"How do you know the lines?" I ask, "Androids are programmed with knowledge of everything, every movie, book, song, I know of" he responds with.

"Guess your brain is pretty big, huh" I mumble, "I do have a lot of gigabytes of storage," he says, I chuckle even if it isn't supposed to be a joke, it's sort of funny.

"You can watch TV or read or something until the morning I guess, do you need food or anything?" I ask, he shakes his head no and puts the book back on the shelf.

"Androids don't eat or sleep, I can just look over case files for a while and try to find a lead," he says.

I nod and put my water bottle back into the fridge, "Alright then I'll see you in the morning" I say.

I walk into my room and close the door behind me, I don't feel comfortable with an android in my house while I'm sleeping just because of recent events involving deviants, but I'm sure Connor won't hurt me, but even then I lock the door just to be sure.

I put on my PJs and then climb into bed.

I wake up later that night with a jolt and cold sweats, I look around the room and calm down when I realize it's just me in the room.

It was just another bad dream, I lay back down and try to calm my breathing but then I hear something bang against the door.

Before I even have time to react Connor has broken down my door and is standing in the doorway with a worried look on his face.

"Lieutenant is everything okay?" he asks.

"Yes, what the hell Connor! Why the fuck would you break down my door?" I yell, he runs over to me and inspects me.

"You were screaming, I had thought someone had broken in," he says, my cheeks flare up and I pull my arm away from him.

"It was just a nightmare, I'm fine you can go back outside," I say, he squints his eyes as he's looking into mine and then a concerned look spreads across his face.

"Was your dream about Liam?" he asks, my whole face goes red, and so does my vision, how the hell does he know about Liam?

Liam is my ex-boyfriend who used to beat me, he's the reason I became a cop, I didn't want anyone else to deal with scumbags like him.

I made it onto the Red Ice team also because of him, he was always high on Red Ice when he would beat me.

He haunts my dreams because I was never able to stand up to him and I regret it every day, its the reason why I have trouble sleeping at night.

"What the fuck! You were snooping through my things?" I yell, I throw off my covers and stand up and push his chest, he takes a step back as his eyes widen.

"Yes, I needed something to preoccupy myself with so I-" he starts but I interrupt him, "So you thought it would be a good idea to snoop through my private stuff?" I yell.

"I didn't look through much only your diary, I apologize if I stepped over my boundary," he says, the innocent look on his face only makes me angrier.

I slap him across the face and shove him against the wall, "How dare you! I invite you into my house so you're not stuck outside, and instead of thanking me you spend your time reading my personal diary?" I scream.

Connor raises his hands up like he's surrendering.

"I deeply apologize Natasha, I only read to learn more about you since you're very closed off," he says.

"I don't care why you snooped, those are my personal thoughts, you had no right to look through that!" I yell.

I step away from him and rub my face, angry tears start to spill down my face.

That diary had all of my personal thoughts in it.

Everything that Liam did and said to me was in there, every feeling I had, everything that makes me vulnerable was in there, and he read it!

I don't want some freak android knowing everything about me, Jesus Christ how fucking embarrassing!

"Get out," I say, "Natasha I am very sorry," he says and puts a hand on my shoulder, I turn around and throw his hand off of me.

"I don't care how sorry you are, get the fuck out of my house!" I scream, he sees my tear stricken face but doesn't say anything, he walks out of my room and out of the house.

I walk out into the living room and spot my diary on the coffee table, I pick it up and throw it in the trash, I also spot a picture of Liam and I that was put on the couch, I pick that up and throw it in the trash as well, how dare he?

I turn off all the lights and climb back into bed, I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight because of how worked up I am.

It just makes me so upset how he looked through my stuff and didn't understand how wrong that was.

I know he's programmed to complete missions but did they not program him with the capabilities of being able to understand boundaries?

I sigh and flip over to turn off my bedside lamp.

I eventually fall asleep after a couple of hours of tossing and turning with dreams of standing in the middle of a room being laughed at.